Facebook’s effect on relationships
By StellaPosted Apr 4, 2012
I have a confession, From Campusites. I’m not on Facebook. I’ll wait while you sling your head back, don your googly eyes and ask me the same question I just answered a few lines above: “You’re not on Facebook?!” Go ahead. It’s OK. I’ve had this conversation before.
But usually this is where I try to move the conversation to less controversial subjects, like health care, anal sex or whether “Men in Black 2” is a sequel worthy of Will Smith’s presence. But some aren’t so willing to let my lack of Facebook go. Some seemingly want to light up the torches and toss me out of town like a whore in heat.
“Facebook’s everywhere! How can you not be on it? Why don’t you want to be on it?! How is that even possible nowadays?!”
While I’m sure there are more of us non-Facebookers than assumed, the people are right with one thing: Facebook is everywhere. It’s the login you use to comment on numerous websites. It’s the tool you use to connect with distant friends and family. You can even foster professional relationships, screen potential dates and share to the world that you do in fact “like” your Doritos Locos taco.
But Facebook isn’t without its disadvantages, including negative effects on your romantic relationships. When it comes to these relationships, Facebook is the sultry temptress that creates the breeding ground for problems to arise, only to deny blame later on and watch the relationship burn. But all is not lost, my pets. Let’s take a look at exactly how the website can hurt your relationship, and what you can do to fix the damage.
Reinforced Relationship Jealousy
According to psychcentral.com, a study of 308 Facebook users found that “if you’re a pretty jealous person to begin with, the more time you spend on Facebook, the more jealous you’re likely to become.”
No sh*t. But for those unaware, I’ll explain: The jealous partner sees something on FB that presses his or her jealousy button, like a wall post by a lusty, busty (or built) ex. This heightens the jealousy, thereby increasing time spent stalking your partner’s FB wall, or the wall of the slut-bag who made the post. This increased surveillance will likely expose the jealous partner to more jealousy-heightening information, notes the site.
The key words here are “jealousy-heightening information.” This is because what’s found may not be damning at all, but rather innocent exchanges that are misread because of one partner’s jealous goggles.
Added Stress about Relationship Statuses
You told your friends and they nodded suspiciously. You told family members but they wrote it off. But, by god, when you turned that FB status from “single” to “in a relationship,” sh*t got real.
It’s sad that nowadays we determine the real status of a relationship based on what it’s described as on Facebook. But what’s worse is that we’re placing more stress on ourselves having it this way, notes allfacebook.com. For instance, what if your partner is reluctant to switch his or her relationship status, or has been consistently “late” in getting to it? What if he or she changes the status but it’s not what you want? So many problems, some of which provide a “relationship troubles” peep show to anyone who can see.
The worst of conflicting relationship statuses is when one partner climbs down to the “single” status, leaving the other partner sitting pretty—and alone—on the relationship horse. No matter how it happened, the differing statuses create embarrassment for the one still “in a relationship.” And when this happens, it’s not just a peep show of relationship probs. It’s a full-frontal view of your not-so-amicable break up.
Fixin’ the Facebook Plight
There’s one fix to these problems: personal, face-to-face communication, a concept that was taken to the backburner once social media f*cked her way to the top of the “effective communication methods” hierarchy. So no Facebook chats. No texts or calls. Sit in front of your partner and use your mouth... to talk. It may not be the sexiest thing you can do with your mouth, but it’s the smartest.
Communicate—without assumption—with your partner so that you’re both on the same page. Then, aim to reach a compromise that helps fix the problem, like changing your Facebook information, making certain information, like relationship statuses, not visible to others, or changing information at the same time.
Oh, and if you’re a jealous person, you may want to look inward and understand your issues so that you can nix the jealous goggles before they become glued to your muf*ckin’ face. Just sayin’.
Deactivated from the devil,