Pittsburgh at Utah (Thursday 8:30 Versus)
Fun Fact: The last time these two teams played was the last time both schools played with head coaches other than Dave Wannstedt or Kyle Wittingham.

Michael Amann: Wannstedt is a lot like a Bizarro Charlie Weis. While both were longtime NFL coaches who returned to their alma mater for their first head coaching jobs, the similarities ended there. For one, that Wannstache is in terrific shape where as Weis looks like a partially-deflated meat-blimp. For two, Weis confused his initial luck for skill, where as Wannstedt had the luxury of finding out just how dumb he really was in his first season at Pitt. He has been learning the college game over the past five years, and this year he seems to have the talent to breakthrough. So let’s go with Pitt
Joe P: I hate the city of Pittsburgh and this is a legitimate chance to watch them lose. But basically I’m gonna take Pitt, begrudgingly.
Andrew Joseph: The Utes will do a few more favors for the Mountain West before heading to the Pac10+1+1. Pittsburgh gets the shaft, again.
Colin Day: Can be interesting an interesting match-up of two squads looking to prove early that they deserve their respective spots in the standings, but Utah is the one to watch.
Nick “Dinkle” Becktal: Utah’s got all the buzz with the pending move to the Pac-10 and the Mountain West’s recent dominance, but don’t buy into the hype. This team isn’t nearly as loaded as the BCS Busters of the past. This is the year Pitt finally lives up to preseason expectations and restores at least some credibility to the Big East, and it starts with a statement win on the road.

Illinois vs. Missouri (12:30 FSN)

Fun Fact: Ron Zook is one of the few people whose job has been saved because of the terrible economic climate

Amann: Ron Zook has already driven one state school featuring orange into a crater. Actually, Illinois is already in a crater now, but I guess they sucked when Zook took over, anyway. I suppose he’s just been driving laps in the crater, and this season is his final one. No way Mizzou loses, even with their best offensive player Roethlisberger’d*.
*Suspended for sexual assault allegations, not injured from a preventable motorcycle accident. That’s getting Winslow’d.
JP: Illinois They’ve still got some juice residue left in the cup.
CD: I just can’t see Missouri beating the Zook, especially since they looked dismal against a Navy team last year that couldn’t handle a team that runs and passes well.
Andy Joe: Missouri is a world of hurt with the announcement that Derrick Washington is suspended permanently in lieu of facing sexual assault charges. That takes a big hunk out of an offense that wasn’t fully loaded to begin with. Oskee Wow Wow* rolls.
[*Illinois, for those not familiar with obscure racist chants of Big Ten also-rans -ed]
Dinkle: I want to go bias and take the Big Ten team here, but the last time Illinois was competitive in the Arch Rivalry was when they won it in 1994. Missouri isn’t exactly looking at a Big XII title, but they’re already planning on a bowl game come December. The Illini will struggle to go .500 this season.

Connecticut at Michigan (3:30 ABC)

Michael Amann: Rich Rod has to have Michigan back to its winning ways this year, right?
JP: Michigan. God I hope they win.
CD: Ok, seriously guys. Sexy? Hardly. The only thing that might be impressive in this game is the new remodel of the toilet bowl stadium. Look for Forcier* to to take things over for the Wolverines.
*[I don’t know if Colin knows that Denard Robinson is the de facto starter. Maybe by “take things over” Tate “Forciers” his way into the top spot-ed]
Andy Joe: Brace yourself Buckeye fans, Michigan will be better this year, at least in the win-loss column. This is a easy W to start the season.
Dinkle: This is going to feel like an upset pick, but taking the Huskies in the Big House isn’t all that crazy. The offense finally has the players Dick Rod wants it to have, but the experience is lacking and the defense is still vulnerable.

Purdue at Notre Dame (3:30 NBC)

Amann: People say that Notre Dame is where good coaches go to die, and it is true that Ty Willingham, Bob Davie, and Charlie Weis all had good careers before signing up under the golden dome. However, the last time they’ve had a coach with proven college head football coach experience in Lou Holtz, who may or may not have died during his tenure at Notre Dame. Brian Kelly is too good a coach not to take advantage of the FOUR new starters in the Purdue secondary, especially with Michael Flyod and Kyle Rudolph. I’d be no happier being wrong on any other game , but the Domers take this one.
JP: Inset LaBrian Kelly joke. Also, insert a Purdon’t joke, too.
CD: Now this is one to look forward to: can Brian Kelly continue his winning ways in South Bend? Can Purdue’s Danny Hope put some… er… hope for the future of this university? Notre Dame, 17-14.
Andy Joe:PENDING
Dinkle: Kelly and the Irish are hoping to bring in a new era into South Bend, and I don’t see any better way to start than brining in Purdue. Even though they provided the upset over the Buckeyes last fall, the Boilermakers have a lot of concerns. Notre Dame is always loaded with talent, and with a head coach with direction the potential is immense.

Oregon State at TCU (7:45 ESPN )
Amann: The FauxSU Beavers are really not getting enough credit. Despite zero preseason hype, they nearly contend for the Rose Bowl every year. While Mike Riley might not be able to win the Pac-10 this year, you don’t have to be a BCS conference champion to beat a team like TCU. I’m more comfortable betting the under than picking The Beavers for a straight upset, but here I am, doing just that.
JP: 2 top 25 teams. Get real. What else are you going to watch? I LIKE Oregon State, but I think I’m taking TCU. Actually, I’m taking Oregon State
CD:Can’t really say much here, those horned reptiles should have an easy one.
Andy Joe: Mountain West wins against another BCS school, it’s close though. TCU, 17-14ish.
Dinkle: OSU’s Jacquizz Rodgers has an opportunity to become a household name this season in a year where the Pac-10 is wide open. However, the Horned Frogs have the preseason hype to make a BCS or even a national championship appearance. Beavers might have more depth, but overall talent rests in TCU and they should win easy.

Cincinnati at Fresno State (10:00 ESPN2)

Fun Fact: Despite the unanimity for the Bearcats below, Fresno State is a field goal favorite in Vegas.

Amann: Those of who read the original Sexy Seven will recall that I was something of a fan of the Bearcats in their infancy. Now I can’t stand the bUCkeye state little nephews, but Fresno State doesn’t scare anyone and Zach Collaros is actually better than Tony “The Scarecrow” Pike. I can’t bet against the Bearcats
JP: I’m going with Cinci.
CD: Zach Collaros may or may not be the next Tony Pike, but that might not be a bad thing. Turnover, as with coaches, can be a good thing. Cincy
Andy Joe: One of the “Games to Miss” this weekend. It’s a sloppy win for the BEAR CATS GO CATS GO!
Dinkle: FSU has fallen into the shadow of Boise State. Anyone else remember when the Bulldogs were good? I don’t care if they’re at home, Cincinnati has a young, talented crew that should take care of this first road test.

Boise State vs. Virginia Tech (Monday 8:00 ESPN)
Amann: The more I think about it, the less I believe Boise State is made up of Idaho Jedi who never lose no matter the odds and more a team that is able to scheme its way into and out of some big games. The Broncos have been able to take advantage of teams not knowing about them as well as not caring about them with the “exotic” spread offense. Now everyone runs the spread, and Virginia Tech is really going to squash these guys.
JP: and add the fact that Kellen Moore is a Heismann hopeful, and Tyrod T-Mobile Taylor is a slightly less hopefully Heismann hopeful. Both teams are NatChamp contenders. for SURE watching that game. Boise
Andy Joe: Boise will always “have something to prove.” The reality of this match-up is VTech has a lot to prove as well. Hokies get it done in a dandy.
Dinkle: The Bronco’s one-game season begins on Saturday night in Washington DC. I really want to take the Broncos here, but defense, special teams, coaching and “home field advantage” are all in favor of VaTech. If Kellen Moore has a career day the Broncos will win, but this one should fall to the Hokies.

What is it? Marshall University. It was created along with its football team in 1999 by Warner Bros. Pictures as a revolutionary marketing idea dreamed up by Matthew Maconahay as a promotional tie-in to the 2006 movie We Are Marshall. Due to the popularity of the the team among the local hill people, Warner decided to make a buck off the project and Thundering Herd have continued to play football in Huntington, West Virginia even after the movie’s box office run had long been completed.
Fun Fact: Many campus buildings are actually just part of the set that was used in the movie. They have no real function and many are now meth nests.

Can we kill it? Yes. Clemson transfer Wiley Korn was projected to be the starter at quarterback but was moved to saftey. His presence brought about the possibility of another Boo Jackson, the back-up quarterback of the 2008 Ohio Bobcats. Fortunately, the Buckeyes will be dealing with a more conventional passer in Brian Anderson. While he is a returning starter, he is no world beater and will in fact be a tasty snack for the young defensive line. He does have dumpster-sized tight-end in Lee Smith, but since when has a 270 pound dude been fast enough to give Ohio State trouble? On offense, of course.

Can it kill us? Probably not. However, one small trivia item to fear that Doc Holliday’s former boss was one Urban Meyer. From 2005 to 2007, Holliday was the recruiting coordinator and safeties coach at the University of Florida. That’s right, he was in charge of two of the most awesome things about the Florida Gators team that stomped our beloved 2006 national championship hopefuls. Holliday was the associate head coach for their championship season and coached their best player, the dreaded Reggie Nelson.

Basically, we’ve been Pearl Harbored by this guy before. However, it should be noted that three other Florida coaches had a larger role in that horrible loss: Defensive Coordinator and Assistant Head Coach Charlie Strong, Offensive Coordinator and long-time right hand man Dan Mullen, and of course the legendary Urban Meyer. All three dudes seemed to get along just fine when Holliday left before the 2008 season.

Lastly, Holliday isn’t exactly working with Reggie Nelson anymore. He’s got MAC dudes that he didn’t even recruit.

What is the worst that could actually happen? (A rash of injuries to key players would be the true worst possible outcome but such a stroke of bad fortune is unpredictable and unlikely.) 2009 Navy or 2008 OU

Given that this is the first game of the season accurately predicting a basement result is somewhat sketchy. The dangerous assumption is that a loss is out of the question. However, Marshall’s has a new, probably talented coach that has experience on both sides of the ball. The Buckeyes have no idea what to expect. Maybe Doc Holiday can extract some of the same evil voodoo he concocted for the 2007 BCS national championship game. Maybe the Ohio State offense will come out lazy and uninterested, and maybe a bunch of MAC no-namers will be able to run and pass on our defense. Even so, I gotta think 28-24 is a total worst case scenario.

What is the best we can hope for? 2006 Northern Illinois. Ohio State was coming off a big BCS bowl win and stomped the Huskies with 28 straight points seconds into the second quarter. Ohio State was able to demonstrate that its expected strengths were fully operational and were more than necessary to make up for its perceived weaknesses. While Marshall is hardly NIU, the 2010 Buckeyes have an opportunity to exorcise the demons of doubt that have possessed fans this offseason.

If the offense can score at will with a presumably limited playbook, it will go a long way to erase the doubts of Pryor’s development as a passer. Combined with the safeties contributing to shutting down the corresponding Marshall passing attack, the game will be in hand before the band impresses anyone who
The second half can then consist of young guys on both sides of the line and at wide receiver experience and assuaging the depth fears at those positions. Final score, 42-9.

So, Should We Be Scared? Not really.

To be honest, given what I’ve heard from the team, the Ohio State Buckeyes are if anything not looking enough towards Miami, and are instead preparing to use Marshall as a live fire demonstration of the horrible potential of the 2010 season.
Willy Korn looked to be a potential wild card in the vein of Boo Jackson; that is, a scrambly thorn that keeps a rusty defense on the field. However, that dude is gone. In sum, Marshall is like a rabid puppy. Possibly frightening, but easily disposed when the proper authorities come to call. In the end, it will be kind of pathetic.

So, these are the details:

Divisions

The Woody Hayes Division*

Ohio State
Penn State
Wisconsin
Perdue
Illinois
Indiana

The Bo Schembechler Division*
Michigan
Nebraska
Iowa
Michigan State
Northwestern
Minnesota

Ohio State will play Michigan every year at the end of the regular season. Most years this should not be a terrible problem, but it does make a 2006 situation completely impossible. Still, I can’t help but think that this situation is on the balance awesome. Look at the 2011 schedule:

Sept. 3 vs. Akron
Sept. 10 vs. Toledo
Sept. 17 at Miami (the real one)
Sept. 24 vs. Colorado
Oct. 1 vs. Michigan State
Oct. 8 at Nebraska
Oct 15 at Illinois
Oct. 29 vs. Wisconsin
Nov 5 vs. Indiana
Oct 12. at Purdue
Nov 19 vs. Penn State
Nov. 26 at Michigan

I know I’ve wrote many things both in this paper and to various Ohio State administrators disparaging the terrible idea of splitting Michigan and Ohio State. However, THIS IS AN AWESOME SCHEDULE. Miami, Colorado, Wisconsin, Penn State, Michigan and we get to win the Illibuck? This is a great time to be a Buckeye.

*No official word on division names, but come on.

The NBA does not kick off until late October, but that does not mean that the summer has been void of world-class basketball. The FIBA World Championships tipped off last Saturday from Turkey. The tournament features 24 nations from all around the world, including USA. This is the second biggest international basketball tournament, behind the Olympics.
While the USA has dominated international basketball in the Olympics (13 gold medals in 16 appearances), the FIBA Championship has been much more elusive (3 gold medals in 15 appearances, last win 1994). There is a huge reason why there gold medal ratio is as skewed as it is between the two competitions; superstars ignore the Worlds and play in the Olympics, which is also the case for 2010. The current Team USA squad is without the core of superstars that were standouts during the 2008 Redeem Team gold medal run.
LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, Chris Bosh, Dwayne Wade, Chris Paul, Carmelo Anthony and Dwight Howard have all decided to skip the Worlds this summer for one reason or another. I can forgive everybody but Howard for skipping the tournament. Dwight is the only superstar to not have a “busy� summer due to injury/free-agency/marriage. He should also use the Worlds as practice for the NBA season, too. He does not have a very strong offensive game and needs to figure out how to avoid foul trouble.
The 2010 National Team managed to field a pretty solid roster, even if the top players declined the invite to play. Kevin Durant (OKC), Andre Iguodala (Philadelphia), Chauncey Billups (Denver), Lamar Odom (LA Lakers), and Derrick Rose (Chicago) are the starting 5, and seem like a great blend of athleticism and size. The reserves are Rudy Gay (Memphis), Russell Westbrook (OKC), Danny Granger (Indiana), Eric Gordon (LA Clippers), Stephen Curry (Golden State), Tyson Chandler (Dallas), and Kevin Love (Minnesota). The team is coached by Mike Kzrzewski (Duke).
The following is a time-lapse breakdown of the USA vs Iran game from Tuesday, September 1. Team USA has a 3-0 record in the tourney while Iran is 1-2.
12:03- Early steal by Team USA followed quickly by an errant pass and turnover to Iran. Protecting the basketball and limiting dumb turnovers has been the biggest problem for the 2010 squad.
12:05- Kevin Durant drives to the hoop, draws the foul, and converts the 3-point play. The Durnateater (much better nickname than “The Durantula�) may very well be the most talented player in the NBA and the definite leader of National team.
12:10- Realizing that the arena is about half-empty. It seems like the Turks aren’t as interested in a USA vs. Iran beatdown as I am. Because of this, I feel like we should spice up these “diplomatic rivalry� games a little bit. US vs. Iran could feature President Obama and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad as guest-referees, or even a “winner gets an oil well� wrinkle would work nicely. Just a thought…
12:48- My idea of showering and paying rent during the first quarter break ran a bit long…but I wasn’t too worried about it. I mean, we’re playing Iran in basketball. This is like playing a college team. They have one NBA player, Hamed Haddadi, who is a back-up center for the Memphis Grizzlies. The score is 42-28 at halftime. USA is shooting 53% from the floor, while Iran is at a measly 32%. Who didn’t expect this?
1:01- Second half just started and it looks like the already dismal attendance has been cut in half. What else is there to do in Turkey on a Wednesday? I mean, besides Ramadan Observations.
1:04- Derrick Rose is way too fast for anyone on the Iranian roster to cover. To prove my point, Rose just blew by 4 opponents for an easy lay-up while I was typing.
1:07- After (another) stupid USA turnover, the camera focuses in on Coach Mike Krzyzewski and looks like he is bored to death watching this game. There is still another 15 minutes of basketball to be played and the coach has already checked out. LET THE POINTS PILE ON!
1:14- Durant is out and Russell Westbrook is in. Why don’t they run a Durant-Westbrook lineup more often? This lineup pushed the Lakers to 7 games in the playoffs last year! If you have teammates on the National Team, play them. It worked out really well in ’92 with Stockton and Malone.
1:23- There is 8:08 left in the game and Team USA are up by 22. I love that we are taking care of business today (unlike yesterday’s 2-point victory over Brazil. Their two best players are Leandro Barbosa and Anderson Varejao. COME ON!), but this game does not really offer any insight to how we will match up against a better team. USA has a significant height, skill, and athletic advantage for every position on the court. We could have won by 20 even if the coaching staff did not show up.
1:31- Up by 26 with 5 minutes left. This game has been over for a while. This is where I go back and write my intro to this article.
1:40- Game over, final score is USA 88- 51 Iran. USA finishes shooting 58% from the floor to Iran’s 30%. 4 US players finish in double digits (Durant-12, Rose-11, Granger-10, Love-13) and everyone on the roster played and scored. Absolute blowout and expect the same thing tomorrow against Tunisia. Have a good day everybody!

Cult followings are a popular thing among American culture. Rocky Horror Picture Show, Dr. Strangelove and 2001 all have an intense following from a frantic fan base. It doesn’t matter if the critics say they are good or bad films; people are blindly supporting because, for whatever reason, they love them.

Many video games are able to achieve that “cult classic� feeling to them. One of my personal favorites is Conker’s Bad Fur Day. I love the game for its unique take on childhood and adult humor, stretching the boundaries of gore and profanity. It was like South Park in that sense. But from a game critic’s standpoint, the game was frowned upon. It was a clunky platformer littered with toilet humor and graphics that will make your eyes sore. That didn’t stop people from buying it, however, and it certainly didn’t stop fans calling for more and were answered with a fantastic remake of the game on Xbox.

It’s not too often a sports title can achieve such cult classic status, mostly because we are subjected to a new game every year and that detracts from it building into something unique (and gives the developers loads of cash every year). But Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out on the Nintendo Entertainment System breaks that mold.

First thing to note is its unique controls. Ninety-nine percent of games out there use the analog stick or directional pad to control the protagonist’s movements on the screen. Little Mac, the hero you’re boxing as in Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out, is stationary throughout most of the game. You can dodge left, right or backwards, but most of the time you standing getting pounded like a cheap whore.

Boxing is usually about footwork and agility around the ring, but not for Little Mac. His cement sandals are overshadowed by his fists of fury. He can throw left and right punches to the body and head, and can deliver a jaw-shattering uppercut, and luckily the opponents to just as little moving around the ring as our hero. Depending on the combination of blows to the head and body you deliver, you can take down any opponent.

Speaking of opponents, the sparring partners you’ll meet on your quest to become world champion are full of juicy stereotypes. From your first match with Frenchman Glass Joe, who can be knocked out very easily, to Russian Vodka Drunkenski, who makes jokes about his intoxication, every person you’ll fight is a character all their own. (Okay, so Nintendo changed Vodka’s name to Soda Popinski, but the drunk jokes are still there.)

And then there’s the title man himself: Mike Tyson. The humor in Kid Dynamite’s appearance as the final boss is only funny because of how his character has diminished from world heavyweight champion to ear-biter to weird-tattoo-on-face guy to cameo role in The Hangover. But back in his heyday, he was more than a big man with a lisp and a gap in his teeth big enough to drive a truck through. It was a great fit for 1987, comparable to having Tiger Woods on the cover of a golf game (or maybe a cameo appearance in Leisure Suit Larry 8.) Unfortunately in all of the remakes and re-releases, Tyson is no longer present due to the licensing agreement being over, and we instead get Mr. Dream. He plays exactly the same, but nobody will ever be able to replace this baby face:

Even though the game only has 11 different opponents, the difficulty of this game gives it considerable replay value for the price. Each foe has its own weakness which you must discover during your bouts. Some strategies involve dodging and countering, some involve alternating left and right jabs, some involving delivering a punch at the precise moment to send your opponent tumbling backwards. By the time you beat the game on your first run-through you’ll have forgotten how to tackle everyone again, and you’ll challenge yourself to do it faster and with more knockouts.

It’s definitely a must-play for any sports fan who enjoys boxing or retro games. You can get an all-new rendition of Punch-Out!! on the Wii for $40 with a few extra features, including new fighters and a two-player versus mode, but you get much better value downloading the Virtual Console title either on the NES ($5) or the Super Nintendo sequel ($8). If only the newer version had a Create-A-Fighter feature, only then could I make my dream of delivering concussion-inducing blows to Tim Tebow’s face a digital reality.