Hasta luego, Carsten Charles Sabathia. From your 17-5 rookie season, to your recent post-Cy Young domination, your 6’7, 300 pound frame will be sorely missed from the lakeside. In what was the absolutely correct move, the Indians officially removed themselves from MLB competition in 2008, and proceeded on to reloading mode for next year.

Problem is, there isn’t enough readymade firepower to brighten the ’09 outlook. The centerpiece of the return package features Matt LaPorta, who should contribute some next year, but won’t be an everyday player until 2010. The rest of the incoming crew lacks surefire major league talent, so the overall returns may not pay their dividends in the near future.

As for CC, his stay in Milwaukee will be a short one. And with Prince Fielder already strapped into an XXXXXL Brew Crew uni, expect a multitude of clubhouse fights over pregame meals. With those two on defense, any infield hit between pitcher and first base may result in an inside-the-park home run. But not even those 600+ pounds of baseball blubber can guarantee a spot in October for the Brewers. They’ll contend for the wild card down to the finish, but who knows if CC can singularly put Milwaukee over the top.

All in all, it’s getting quite trite watching the Tribe have to bail out on every top notch talent in the organization. We’ve seen Manny, Belle, and Thome each walk to lands filled with green, while Bartolo and CC have been shipped out to the richer pastures. The trend has staggered the team’s hopes for becoming a perennial World Series contender. Hopefully these prospects blossom to the same tune that Sizemore, Lee, and Phillips did six years ago. Who knows, perhaps LeBron and CC will be playing in the same city again by 2010. New York City, that is.

-Zack Meisel

It’s me, Michael.
I just wanted to talk to you about some things. I’m graduating this year and… well, I haven’t gotten it yet. You know, a National Championship. I know, I know, there was 2002, but I wasn’t going to school here then. I only followed the team so much that season. I didn’t even wear an Ohio State shirt when I watched it on television. I know that was wrong Todd but I was young and played Starcraft online sometimes. I was a nerd, Todd.

But now I’m all grown up, at least most of the way. I think I act pretty mature for my age. It’s just that one thing Todd. I need it to happen to be a real grown up fan. If that doesn’t happen soon I just don’t know what I’ll do Todd.

It’s just that my friend Jimmy goes to Notre Dame, and I really don’t want him to get it before me. It’s not that I don’t like Jimmy, I just feel like I’ve earned it Todd. I mean, look at USC. They got it, TWICE (sort of), and now look at them. They have Snoop Dogg and Will Farrel on the sidelines! LSU got it twice (sort of) too, as you may or may not be aware. Sometimes I want it so bad that I cry.

Sometimes, Todd, strong men also cry.

I know it’s not all on you Todd. I know that. Far from it. I just want you to know that I really, really have to get a national championship before I’m 23. Because then I will be old. My mom said she had to wait until she was 39 to get it. I can’t wait that long Todd. I just can’t. I’ll be like a freak.

But hey, I want to say some things to you too, Todd. I know some people give you a hard time about things. I want you to know I believe in you Todd. At least, I think I believe in you. I’m having a real difficulty believing in anything these days.

Phil Steele lists us as having the 12th best quarterbacking unit in the nation Todd! Phil Steele has the most accurate preseason magazine for the last nine years! He believes in you Todd.
Hey. I know what you’re thinking Todd. “That’s probably just because Terrelle Pryor is on the depth chart,” To quote Mike Gundy, “That ain’t true“. Well, ok it’s fairly true. But you’re a senior now Todd. This is your team. Sure, you might not get the most hype, people might have held candle-light vigils to make sure you came back for one more year. But Todd, we need you.

I don’t want you to feel bad when everybody cheers as you come off the field the first time. You know they just want to see the new hottness. It’s got nothing against you Todd. You’re great, really. Remember that time in Seattle, when we were losing to Washington in the 3rd quarter? That was you Todd. My downstairs neighbors have HDTV, and they started losing their minds like 6 seconds before I saw it happen. Remember that other time when you were in that hate-filled place, surrounded by people dressed in white, all yelling at you? (no, not Mississippi) You did really well that time, too.

You did well lots of times, Todd.

I know I should be patient. I know it will eventually happen for me. I just look at all these other schools, all grown up with national championships. They don’t even need a silly poster to explain why they deserved to win the game.

Thanks for listening Todd

Sincerely, Michael

Michael Amann is a sports columnist for UWeekly and a contributor to Bang for Your Buck. He also has actually read several books by Judy Blume.

Some valuable statistics from the first 2.5 months of the baseball season:

-The New York Yankees are 8-4 since installing Joba Chamberlain into the starting rotation

-The Atlanta Braves have lost 27 consecutive 1-run games on the road, a Major League record

-The Braves are just 9-24 on the road, by far the worst record in baseball

-The Boston Red Sox are 28-7 at home, an astounding .800 winning percentage

-The Cleveland Indians have just 2 winning streaks longer than 2 games: one 3 game streak, and one 5 game streak

-Many key players of the New York Mets are hitting well below their career averages:
Carlos Beltran- career: .280 ’08: .264
David Wright- career: .307 ’08: .272
Luis Castillo- career: .293 ’08: .261
Carlos Delgado- career: .279 ’08: .243

-Chipper Jones is batting .409 overall, and .439 against right-handed pitching

-In 2007 with the Cincinnati Reds, outfielder Josh Hamilton batted .292 with 18 home runs and 47 RBI’s. Already in 2008 with the Texas Rangers, he’s batting .319 with 18 home runs and 72 RBI’s, a potential Triple Crown threat.

-Hamilton leads the American League in RBI’s with those 72. Carlos Quentin, of the White Sox, is second- but with only 54.

-Zack Meisel

Alright Cavs fans, let’s settle down. Sure, a starting five of Baron Davis, Michael Redd, LeBron James, Jermaine O’Neal, and Zydrunas Ilguaskas is music to the ears. But let’s return to reality for a minute. Each summer, countless trade rumors make their way across the country and into the minds of the desperate who need to hear fabricated ideas just to quench their championship hunger. Obviously, Clevelanders annually fall into this category.

And while I recently detailed a column suggesting 10 trades Cleveland teams could benefit from, the true likelihood that any will go through is slim. I apologize for having to be the one to break it to you all. Especially since I often find myself caught up in the Eric Snow and a pair of Nikes for Michael Redd hoopla. But the real odds that Danny Ferry pulls the trigger on another blockbuster are as good as LeBron opting out of his deal in ’10 to sign with the Minnesota Timberwolves.

The only two options are dealing for O’Neal or Redd, thought Bucks ownership has recently pleaded that the former Buckeye remains in their future plans. The Pacers will dump O’Neal at any cost, even if it’s inconvenient to them. After all, just how valuable is an oft-injured, $21 million forward who averages 13.5 points and 6 rebounds? But don’t buy into the O’Neal-# 9 pick for Wally Szczerbiak-Damon Jones garbage. You truly believe that Pacers management would agree to a deal to which Cavs fans sit giddily laughing at? Perhaps they would swap O’Neal for Wally, Anderson, and our first rounder, but why would a rebuilding team looking to dump an overpaid veteran want to lose a top-ten pick?

Redd would take a package of Wally, Andy, and a combination of Sasha Pavlovic, Damon Jones, and our first round pick. But unless Eric Gordon falls to Milwaukee at #8, they’re not moving Michael Redd. Teams don’t just move superstars day in and day out.

These inane trade rumors are created by bored writers who get paid to create them. Sure, they have logical bases for potential trades, but by no means do they have much actual value. So let’s stop salivating at the mouth for now, and just allow things to play out. Hopefully the Cavs will add another major talent to play beside The King. But if they do, it won’t be some one-sided exchange that some idiot initiated at 3 A.M. after making the deal on NBA Live ’08.

-Zack Meisel

If you follow sports at all, by now you’ve probably read 100 things about the 1/3 pole of our MLB season. What’s important to remember is that, even though it’s not “still early,” really, it’s still pretty early.

I’m talking to you, Indians fans.

On June 1, 2007, the eventual AL Wildcard New York Yankees stood at 23-29, six games under and seven behind wild card leader Detroit. But they made a charge in the remaining four months of the season and earned the right to lose to the Cleveland Indians in the ALDS.

Granted, the Indians are facing dire circumstances. They’re six games under .500, five back of the White Sox and 8.5 back of Boston for the AL Wild Card. All three division leaders in the AL on June 1 last year ended up winning their division. At the rate things are going, Cleveland is NOT going to beat out Boston for the final playoff spot.

But they might not have to. History should be looked at as a guide, but it’s not a guarantee. And frankly, there’s still a lot of questions about the AL-leading Rays as well as the division leading ChiSox. At least in my mind there are.

Assuming the next two months go the route the first two did, what’s going to happen when the Rays see the BoSox in their rearview mirrors come August? They’re a young team, and I’m not sure that they’ll handle their success.

More suspect though are the White Sox. They’ve been winning due to one thing: starting pitching (four of their five starters are .500 or better). But their rotation could go south in an instant.

Obviously Buehrle and Vazquez are solid bets to make it through, but Gavin Floyd and John Danks have never handled this kind of load before. They both have ERAs under 3.25, but Floyd’s career high in innings is 70, and Danks’ isn’t much better at 139. The struggles of young pitchers once they eclipse the plus-30 mark on innings pitched is well documented, and this team seems ripe for a collapse.

And then there’s Jose Contreras’ corpse. I forgot that.

Boston and Los Angeles of Anaheim of SoCal seem like post season locks, but there’s two spots still up for grabs, and the Indians have the pieces (in theory) to get it done. With a soft interleague schedule (Padres, Rockies, Dodgers, Giants, Reds) coming up, the mix is right for the Tribe to get some momentum heading into the break. Now it’s all about execution.

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As for the Reds (no, we here at UWeekly haven’t forgotten you sad, lonely, pathetic Reds fans), I’ve got two words why you’re not worried.

Jay Bruce.

Not that you don’t already know the kid is hitting .591 in six games. Obviously he’s not going to keep it up, but he’s already batting second in the order, and I don’t think there’s going to be any “back to the minors” action for him.

All of that being said, that’s not why the Reds have a shot. The NL East is why.

Thanks to the unbalanced schedule, Philly, Florida, Atlanta and New York have to play each other roughly 936 more times this season. And unless two of them can dominate those match ups from here on out, I don’t think the runner up will have enough wins to capture the wild card.

Thus opening the door for Cincinnati.

You’re not catching the Cubbies. You’re just not. Pitching wins in the regular season, but it’s hitting that gets you to 100 wins, and the Cubs hit like an AL club. Not that their pitching is bad (3.61 staff ERA is third in the NL).

More importantly, Cincy is only five and a half back from St. Louis for the wild card. Do you really think Adam Wainright, Kyle Lohse, Braden Looper, Todd Wellemeyer and Mike Parisi are going to hold it together? It would take a miracle (cough-HGH-cough) for Chris Carpenter and Mark Mulder to come back healthy, and that rotation would still be only slightly above average.

Nobody other than Arizona in the NL West seems like they actually care about 2008, so the door is wide open for the Reds to make a charge. There’s just one big problem.

It always comes back to starting pitching, doesn’t it.

Johnny Cueto has been inconsistent, and it’s hard to depend on a rookie anyway. Eddie Volquez has been fantastic, but again, doesn’t have many innings under his belt. I don’t know how those guys are going to hold up.

And then there’s Bronson Arroyo, who flat out sucks.

If the Jay Bruce call-up has proven anything, it’s that youth can inject life into your team. So why not call up Homer Bailey? Matt Belisle is being converted to a reliever, and Josh Fogg is a train wreck. Other than Bailey’s little walk problem (31 walks in 69.1 innings), he appears to be Major League ready. Might as well let the kid learn on the job.

The only problem with that line of thought is that you’d be depending on Aaron Harang, two rookies, a second year guy and the artist formerly known as Bronson Arroyo in August and September. If there’s one thing the Reds don’t want to do with their promising cast of young pitchers, it’s blow out their arms a la Mark Prior/Kerry Wood.

Oh yeah, Dusty Baker’s the manager.

So the Reds have a shot, but the bats (a.k.a. Jay Bruce) are going to have to do the heavy lifting. If I’m Cincinnati, I’m calling up Baily and then using Josh Fogg (once he’s off the DL) to give Cueto, Volquez and Baily two weeks off in July and August so those arms will be fresh for fall. With a little luck, that might be enough to get it done.

And even if they can’t, as long as Dusty isn’t allowed near their shoulders, there will always be 2009.

-Josh Lehman