As near as I can tell, the following email was just sent to all OSU students on behalf of Peter Koltak. Call me crazy, but I don’t think he was the one who wrote it.

———

From: Peter Koltak
Date: Mon, Apr 28, 2008 at 7:12 PM
Subject: A Very Special Message From President Koltak
To: undisclosed-recipients

Dear Students of The Ohio State University,

We would like to thank the Student Affairs Appellate Panel, a group of 3 law students, who have saved Undergraduate Student Government from the ineptitude of undergraduate student governance. We also owe our thanks to our new President-elect, Peter Koltak, who has shown the utmost humility despite seeking election to speak on behalf of the entire undergraduate body. When the chips were down, when his disqualification loomed imminent, he showed the kind of leadership we should respect: rather than fight a battle he did not trust himself or his cronies to win, he wisely called upon his parents to represent him in his hearing before the Appellate Panel. Koltak faced overwhelming odds, but, incredibly, two professional lawyers with three days to prepare were able to overcome five undergraduates with an hour and a half to read and respond to their arguments. The point is, though, Peter and the Appellate Board have ably demonstrated in both practice and in words how incapable undergraduates are of self-representation. At last we are freed from the shackles of our ignorance.

We can only hope that Peter Koltak retains such wisdom during his tenure as President. Students should never be trusted to represent ourselves when there are adults who are much more capable than any of our 42,000 peers. With the benefit of up to thirty years of hindsight, law students and adults understand undergraduate issues much better than undergraduates themselves. I’m glad that we can trust Ronald and Diane Koltak to guide President-elect Peter, and hope that they will continue to do his work for him in this coming year. We should feel lucky that our future spokesperson has such capable spokespeople.

Don’t forget that these law students deserve our praise and gratitude as well. After all, it was their decision that saved us. It is no exaggeration to say that their legal savvy is far beyond what we undergraduates can comprehend. We may not understand why it’s proper for them to go back on their word to the USG Judicial Panel, overstep their bounds, write a decision that makes no sense, or wholesale adopt the tortured logic of the intimidating Koltak counsel who work in the state Attorney General’s office. Equally confusing is the Chief Justice’s decision to ask President-elect Koltak on a date before hearing the case, but our undergraduates’ grip on the subtleties of jurisprudence, fairness, and justice is tenuous at best. Truly, it is a miracle we can feed ourselves without law students to hold the fork or bathe ourselves without our parents holding the soap.

In sum, it is obvious what we owe Peter Koltak, his legal team/parents, and the Appellate Board; without their steady guidance, we would never have scored the disqualification hat trick. Koltak joins an unbroken line of presidencies distinguished by perseverance not even the severest punishments and just disqualification could stop. We should all be grateful that the adults are here to save us from ourselves.

Sincerely,

The Peter and Amanda “Ohio State Results” Campaign

P.S. Who is Amanda Graver? I keep seeing her name next to Peter’s, but the dozen times they were threatened with disqualification, she was nowhere to be seen.

P.P.S. The Special Runner-Up Award goes to Zach Usmani, Senate Slate Coordinator Legal Council Counsel.

Please reply to sender requesting removal from this e-mail list if you do not wish to receive further e-mail from this candidate. If you still receive e-mail from this candidate, please contact the Elections Governance Board at usgelections@osu.edu.

(Just don’t expect them to do anything about it.)

Anyone downtown on Saturday night around 2:30am when that guy got sucker-punched in the back of the head outside of Gaswerks? Well, unfortunately he died as a result of that single blow to the head, and police are coming up pretty empty-handed.

From today’s Dispatch:

Homicide detectives said they have little to go on in the search for the man who threw the punch about 2:30 a.m. Sunday.

Crime Stoppers is offering up to $2,000 for information that leads to an arrest, and detectives ask witnesses to call them at 614-645-4730.

No one had seen Foss’ assailant before the brief encounter, Christopher Foss said.

I was looking around on the internet trying to find a decent-sized photo of the Skybus logo today for something we are running about them in tomorrow’s newspaper, and an ad came up for a Skybus model airplane.

Take a look. This was Skybus’ signature plane, the “Spirit of Columbus”

Apparently there’s been quite an interest in these, since they are sold out and on back order.

Technorati Tags: skybus

Skybus is filing for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy on Monday, and as of today has ceased all operations. That’s right, the airline with $10 airfare is filing for bankruptcy.

In their own words:

Skybus Airlines will cease all operations effective Saturday, April 5.
Skybus struggled to overcome the combination of rising jet fuel costs and a slowing economic environment. These two issues proved to be insurmountable for a new carrier.

We deeply regret the impact this decision will have on our employees and their families, customers, vendors, suppliers, airport officials and others in the cities in which we have operated. Our financial condition is such that our Board of Directors felt it had no choice but to cease operations.

Passengers holding reservations for Skybus flights scheduled to depart on or after Saturday, April 5, 2008 should contact their credit card companies to arrange to apply for a refund. More information for customers and others will be made available on the Skybus web site (www.skybus.com) as it becomes available.

All flights for Friday, April 4 will be completed. Passengers holding reservations on flights for Friday, April 4 should check in for their flight at a Skybus kiosk at the airport instead of the Skybus website.

I get in my car today and the radio happens to be on 99.7 - The Blitz, and instead of playing me some rock and roll, it keeps repeating the same message in an animatronic voice over and over that the station is “rebooting” and would be finished tomorrow at 5pm.

The website does the same.

It can’t be a marketing gimmick because that’s essentially a day and a half of dead air that you can’t sell any advertising or make any money on. If it were going through a format change, we almost certainly would have heard about it before today, so my guess is they are upgrading their equipment… maybe going HD?

Well whatever they are doing, I’ll listen to something else instead of a voice repeating itself over and over again.

It is with deep regret and a heavy heart that we inform our readers of the passing of former UWeekly sports writer Don Howard. Don lost his life as the result of an automobile accident that occurred late last night. Services will be held at DeVore-Snyder funeral home in Delaware Ohio. Visiting hours will be Tuesday from 2 - 4pm and 6 - 8pm. The funeral will be on Wednesday at 11:00am.

Don graduated from The Ohio State University in 2007 with a bachelor’s degree in Journalism. During his education at Ohio State, Don interned in the sports departments at ABC 6 / FOX 28 and WBNS 10TV. In addition to covering the Buckeyes at UWeekly, Don also worked as a writer and an editor at The Lantern, closely covering the 2006 arrest and trial of former OSU football star Maurice Clarett. After leaving UWeekly, Don took a job as a sports reporter and videographer for WLIO, an NBC affiliate in Lima.

Don was a passionate fan of the Buckeyes, as well as the Cincinnati Reds, Columbus Bluejackets, and the Miami Dolphins. He interviewed local legends like Archie Griffin and Jim Tressel, but also worldwide sports heavyweights like New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner.

Don will be remembered as an exceptional writer and sports journalist, especially for his young age, but he will also be remembered as a down-to-earth, friendly, and caring man. He will be missed.

If desired, contributions may be made in Don’s memory to the Scholarship Fund for the Ohio Broadcasters Association.

- Jason Latimer

Yes, this year’s South by Southwest festival is finally over. And just in time for everyone to go back down to 6th street for St. Patty’s day. I’m beginning to think these people down here never stop partying. Let me tell you, it is exhausting and exciting all at once. Easily one of the best weekends of my life.

One of the last bands I got a chance to see was Nada Surf, who played at Maggie Mae’s rooftop. Now don’t get me wrong, I really like some of the band’s material, and was happy to wait in line for half an hour for the chance to see them, but unfortunately, this one was a flop. The guys tried to play a stripped-down intimate set at a venue that just didn’t work. Armed with only a bass, acoustic guitar, and a cuban drum box, Nada surf tried to pull off a causal set on an open-air stage with crappy sound mixing and a huge crowd. Unfortunately, the songs just didn’t get the instrumentation and environment they deserved. Not to mention the fact that you could hear about six other bands at the same time (including the electronic band next door), and the guys had pretty clearly been partying their asses off for about four straight days. Again, sadly, a bust.

We did have some sweet eats beforehand though. Austin has a number of restaurants called Trudy’s that seem to be incredibly popular. No reservations, no call-ahead seating, and the entire party must be present to put your name on a wait list. After a reasonable wait, nine of us crammed into a booth and ordered a round of Mexican Martinis. This is more or less a strong margarita, but they give you the entire shaker and leave it at the table. They will not serve you more than two, and that’s probably a good thing.

For dinner, most of us had the stuffed avocado — a resaonably priced, but generously portioned avocado — stuffed with chicken and cheese, deep fried, and covered in a sour cream sauce. Incredible. After that, it was off to the Library (yes, just like in Columbus) for drinks. Only this library is huge and decorated with large bookshelves filled with old tomes. All in all, a wild week with tons of hard decisons of what to do and which bands and movies to see. And although it is primarily an industry event, SXSW organizers have made it easier (and cheaper) for students to get badges and get around in Austin, so it’s definitely something worth checking out before graduating.

- Jason Latimer

Holy crap this place is crazy. Downtown on 6th street is totally crawling with drunken people just having a blast. The other night we went to the Cedar Door to see The Presidents. Suffice it to say they were one of the best live bands I have ever seen. It also cracked me up to see the singer playing a bass with only two strings on it.

The opening bands were pretty good too. First was Army of Freshmen. Not exactly my type of music, but they put on a pretty good show. The powerpop sextet from California was very energetic and at one point planted a gigantic, sloppy lick on my friend Ames’ forehead. It was disgusting. And hilarious. Ludo, an indie rock group from St. Louis, was next. Definitely check these guys out. Their heavily-produced 2008 CD You’re Awful, I Love You gives a good idea of their full, precise sound on stage.

Then some more bands played and I drank about a hundred beers and about forty shots of soco and lime. It was bad news bears. Finally it was time for the Presidents, and they rocked our asses off. The energy in the tent while they played was completely insane. Not a single person was standing still. Everyone left with a little cream in their jeans.

More to come…

- Jason Latimer

Shot in Bombay

People often think of Bollywood movies as lavish, melodramatic musicals and Hollywood ripoffs. Sure, this may account for a good number of films out of India’s film industry, but many fail to realize that Bollywood also puts out a good number of movies that are in a style more characteristic of the western world. Shot in Bombay is a documentary that follows the trials and tribulations of Apoorva Lakhia, a director with two critical bombs to his name as he tries to complete Shootout in Lokhandwala, an action blockbuster “based on true rumors.”

Lakhia faces numerous obstacles, the largest of which seems to completing filming with a star who is entwined in a neverending court battle. As shooting continues without the film’s lead, tensions mount, and we learn the story behind Shootout. The story involves an incident in 1993 in which law enforcement officials surrounded a building where notorious gangsters were holed up. Over 3,000 rounds were fired that day, and all the gangsters were killed. The documentary not only follows the intense production of the film and the colorful characters behind the scenes, but also includes interviews with people who were involved with the actual events, including A.A. Kahn, who was the lead police officer involved in the shootout, and whom newspapers dubbed Bombay’s Dirty Harry. Shot in Bombay is an intense and equally informative delve into Indian cinema, law, and history that gives a particularly interesting look at a culture that seems strangely similar to our own in so many ways.

Humboldt County

Some of you may recognize Humboldt county as the northern California county notoriously known for producing large quantities of marijuana. But that’s really only part of the story of this movie. Humboldt County follows Peter Hadley, a down-for-the-count med student who is irritatingly bad with people. Recently failed by his professor (who just happens to be his father), Peter takes a rare chance at temptation and winds up on California’s Lost Coast, surrounded by giant redwoods and a small community of pot farmers. Slow to open up to these ‘deviants,’ Peter is reluctantly forced out of his comfort zone, and by and by begins to let himself see a side of life he had long since forgotten. Soon, he finds himself at a crossroads and is forced to decide where his priorities lay.

At the screening where I saw this movie, so many people showed up that they made a last-minute decision to open up another screen for a “special screening.” After filling up two screens for the show, they still reportedly turned away about a hundred people. With a handful of famililar faces, including the lovely Fairuza Balk, and a great reception thus far, Humboldt County may be one of the handful of SXSW films to see a major theatrical release, so keep an eye out.

Jason Latimer

Okay, forgive me, but I would be completely remiss if I didn’t talk about the Alamo Drafthouse for a minute. The Alamo has got to be, bar none, the coolest theatre in the country. It has consistently won awards as the best theatre in Austin by The Austin Chronicle (readers’ poll), CitySearch, and even Entertainment Weekly, who, in 2005, named the Drafthouse “The #1 movie theater in the country doing it right.”

Founded some 10 years ago as a second-run theatre, the Alamo Drafthouse has expanded to several locations and moved its original downtown location to the famous 6th street.

Now, the small chain shows some first run movies, as well as many fringe interest films, and hosts several festivals, and theme nights such as Music Mondays, Weird Wednesdays and the infamous Terror Thursdays. To give you an idea, here are a sampling of features that will be playing during Terror Thursdays this month:

“Goke, Bodysnatcher from Hell,” “Chopping Mall” AKA “Killbots,” and “Forbidden World” AKA “Mutant.”

Also popular are the sing-alongs and quote-alongs. The quote-along screenings for March and April are Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

The Alamo also features several food themed nights every month, such as the Miller’s Crossing St Patrick’s day Feast: Irish vs. Italian Food. Oh, that reminds me, I almost forgot…

The Food

One of the things that makes the Drafthouse so special is the menu. In front of each row of seats at the Drafthouse is a long bar. Patrons are encouraged to peruse their vast menu, which includes an impressive list of bottled and draft (nearly 20 on tap!!!) beer, wines, and fresh-made food.

The menu features all of your favorite bar-food fare from potato skins to wings and mozzarella sticks, and so much more. Some highlights include the “Royale with Cheese” Burger, “Smokey and the Bacon” BLT, the “Blazing Saddles” BBQ chicken pizza, baked ziti, and the 20-beer ribeye chili. Movie-goers simply write their order on slips of paper and stick them in holders on the front of the table, and wait staff quietly comes and goes throughout the movie. You may order as many times as you like until last call.