U Weekly. Serving The Ohio State University in Columbus Ohio

Text dating

Picking up the pace to second base ... and beyond.

By Jessica Trumbull

The age group born between the mid-1970s and late 1990s goes by many names: Generation Y, the Millennial Generation, Generation Next, the Net Generation.

But recently, more specific monikers are popping up - like the Texting Generation, and even the Thumbers.

These last two are pretty good fits, considering that nearly 4.1 billion text messages are sent each day in the United States, according to a survey conducted in October by Cellular Telephone Industry Association, the wireless industry's trade group. Thanks to our cell phones and thumbs, it's simpler than ever before to be constantly connected with our cohorts.

And flirting with them has never been easier, either.

According to Jackie Ferner, a fourth-year student at OSU, the trend of text-based courting happens all the time. She said texting can take the nerves out of talking to someone you're interested in.

"You meet someone at a party, exchange numbers, get to know them through texting," said Ferner, adding that the next step is often sex - you can feel comfortable hooking up with them, because you feel like you know them. "Numerous friends of mine have done it."

Ferner cited the ease of text-based courting as the reason why it has become such a prominent way of communication and flirtation, especially on college campuses.

"It's easier to text someone [than] to say something," she said. "You can't hear a reaction to a text message."

Dan Sylvester, a student at Columbus State Community College, said that he also is "guilty" of text-based courting.

"Guys do it because they're insecure about themselves," he said. "There's no personality to it at all. You can say whatever you want. The things I say in texting are things that play with [a girl's] feelings the most."

According to Heath Zuniga, a fifth-year student at OSU, texting makes getting to know someone less risky and reduces emotional vulnerability - which is why many college students like it.

"I feel like it's our innate reaction to avoid risks," he said. "Technology allows us to hide behind a façade, almost."

But Abbey Carter, a clinical fellow and professional counselor at OSU's Counseling and Consultation Service, claims that the use of texting and Facebook actually makes students more emotionally vulnerable.

"You can get really close to people really fast," she said. "Then, when you get to be face-to-face with them ... they know all this stuff about you."

Carter frequently deals with students involved in Facebook, texting and instant messaging relationships, and notices that students are often confused about the meaning of someone's Facebook status or a text message they received.

"It's hard to differentiate because we don't have those social cues - facial expression, tone of voice - that you would get through a face-to-face conversation, or even a phone conversation," she said.

Carter acknowledged that there are both benefits and risks to using these forms of communication, but it depends on how they are used alongside one's relationship skills.

"I wouldn't say that [text-based courting] is a benefit by any means," she said. "I think that's very risky."

Brandi Tuttle, a third-year student at OSU, also recognizes the risks involved.

"I have several friends who do that," she said. "There are definitely risks, especially in a college community, with people trying to explore their sexuality or post-adolescence. I find it disturbing, personally, [but it is] definitely a common thing."

Tuttle added that alcohol also often plays a big role in the phenomenon of text-based courting.

She referred to the ease of texting as a key element of its popularity when it comes to flirting.

"It's easy to say things you normally wouldn't in a texting sense," she said.

But Chris Hampton, a student at CSCC, thinks that something gets lost in translation.

"Texting and Facebooking rob us of our humanity," he said. "Kind of like robots - we don't want that emotional loss in the event that something goes sour."

Hampton admitted to having hooked up with someone he had only communicated with through text messages, but felt it was a negative experience.

"We say all these things to each other and it sounds really good, but then we realize it's just a hookup," he said. "I'm not saying good things can't form from that, but it makes it a lot more difficult. You can't just get to know someone by texting."

But he did acknowledge that some people thoroughly enjoy the benefits of text-based courting.

"Some guys live for the thrill of that, 'I don't know this girl' - no emotional barrier whatsoever," Hampton said.

"It's more than common. It's becoming our college world," he said. "We're losing our social skills by the day. It's kind of depressing - we'll lose that one day."

Texting has been the focus of several studies since its rise to popularity, examining everything from the increased risk of text-related car accidents, to whether or not the new text message vernacular is slowly degrading our knowledge of the English language. Maybe this new texting trend will be next on the list. Until then, the real consequences of text-based courting are uncertain.

Regardless, at least for Ferner, the benefits outweigh the risks.

"It's turned out fine for me so far," she said.

Originally Published: January 6, 2010

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