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January 20th, 2010 Archives

Fashion Police

hey! check it out! that racist elvin hobo is me!!
8 Comments + Add Yours

Prepared for bathroom emergency

Are those toilet paper rolls around her legs? Or perhaps they're floaties, in case she drowns in her own shame? Clearly, this person is cold. Notice the hat and jacket. Also notice the mini skirt. But perhaps the two feet directly below her waist and above her boots is experiencing a warm front, one that is perpetual and moves as she does. That's probably it.

How to talk to strangers

"Hey."

"Hey?"

"I couldn't help but notice that your outfit is very ... unpatterned."

"Ok."

"Yeah."

"That's a nice umbrella you have, I guess."

"Thanks, it's actually a Lite-Brite."

"It matches your jacket really, really well."

"Thanks, I have to wear every color in the visible spectrum or all hope will drain from the world."

"Please stop talking to me."

Which way to the Hobbit auditions

While most people know that dressing in blackface is inappropriate and racist, this person doesn't realize that dressing in blacklegs is equally obscene. It is widely accepted that the last time this outfit was en vogue was in 1923, and then only with newsies and homeless people. While the shoes look like they were taken off a Cossack soldier, or a French revolutionist, or a 14th-century monk, we must remember that this is one of the few remaining indigenous elves still in the Columbus area.

Originally Published: January 20, 2010

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Comments

  1. This column is getting less and less funny. It’s a tired premise. GET RID OF IT!

    LongtimeUWeeker | 2010-01-20 - 03:18:37 PM (CDT)

  2. Is the person wearing shorts and tights a guy or a girl? Shorts and tights are not fashionable for girls, but supposedly they’re the latest fashion for guys- google for "mantyhose". I like this column, I say keep it.

    Jamie | 2010-01-20 - 09:59:17 PM (CDT)

  3. Jamie, it’s not a column. It’s just some chicken-shit who won’t even put their name on their work criticizing other people when they’re probably a trainwreck themselves. It’s not even funny.

    bored | 2010-01-22 - 10:50:59 AM (CDT)

  4. Busted - I come back every once and awhile because I’m amazed that UWeekly is honestly still running this superficial "column" despite an obvious change in who writes it. Just seems like valuable ink-space for a gimmick that should only run once a month at most.

    bored | 2010-01-23 - 05:19:54 PM (CDT)

  5. bored = FAIL.

    I love fashion police.

    yo momma | 2010-01-25 - 11:07:41 PM (CDT)

  6. Actually, this is the best one in weeks, so they must have changed writers again. Or s/he was sober. Or not.

    Dennis Fembo | 2010-01-26 - 02:27:45 PM (CDT)

  7. Sometimes the commentary doesn’t help i.e. pic 2, which isn’t a true fashion sin. On the other hand, pic 3 has some damn funny commentary, and pic 1 is obviously police-worthy. 2/3 ain’t bad, keep it up UWeekly!

    SHAKE | 2010-01-26 - 02:43:25 PM (CDT)

  8. hey! check it out! that racist elvin hobo is me!!

    racist elvin hobo | 2010-02-18 - 02:01:42 PM (CDT)
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