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January 27th, 2010 Archives

Michael Amann Says ...

Republicans: Take the money and don't run

By Michael Amann

I was going to go on a tirade about how I voted Obama and the main reasoning behind it. Unfortunately my post did not post so I’ll...
11 Comments + Add Yours

For those of you who don't follow the news, Republican Scott Brown of Massachusetts beat some lady with bad hair in a special election last week. Chatter has now increased to a roar - Republicans are taking back the House and Senate in 2010. Brown has become a GOP hero after running a campaign that was noted for its terrific organization, enthusiastic grassroots efforts and naked Cosmo pics. He made only one critical mistake: he got elected.

The Daily Telegraph listed the 100 most influential conservatives in America earlier this month and only two of the top 10 (No.9 Congressmen Paul "Who's Paul Ryan?" Ryan and No.10 lame-duck quitter Governor Tim Pawlenty) and seven of the top 20 currently hold elected office. A large part of those numbers has to do with a lot of high profile Republicans getting sh-t-canned in the 2008 elections. No matter how their posts were abandoned however, few savvy Republicans look to jump back into the political fray. Nearly all "high-profile" Republicans are making fat cash by staying out of political office and in the media spotlight.

Former Governor Sarah Palin knows her vapid aw-shucks remarks are better as self-promoting controversies than pieces of any coherent ideology. She's making green hand over fist by pandering to the basest of the base - a terrible political strategy, of course. Even in what is allegedly Barack Obama's darkest hour, the president was still way ahead of Palin by 32 points (56 percent to 24 percent) with independents in recent a Fox News poll. THIRTY-TWO POINTS. FOX NEWS POLL.

Electability is overrated. Bankability is what Republican figureheads need to focus on.

Sarah Palin can talk about "death panels" all she damn well pleases if the only people she has to answer to are her millions of sycophant fans. Mike Huckabee's Fox News show is as awkward as it is shallow, yet his supporters tune in every week. Rudy "Nine F-ckin' Eleven" Giuliani can pretend that Bush's presidency experienced nary a terrorist attack without consequence. Newt Gingrich hasn't held office this millennium, yet is considered by many to be the face of the GOP. The only non-Republicans who like Dick Cheney are the space marines from "Avatar." In spite of this, the former vice president, voted the worst man to ever hold his office, gets to tee off on Obama on national television whenever he feels like it.

None of these people are burdened with the crippling responsibility of pulling America out of the dismal spot where they left it. What recession? Beck and O'Reily get 3 million viewers a day! For right-wing talking heads, 2009 was a bull market - a flaming bull with a jetpack, shooting lasers out of its eyes. In 2010, the bull looks to grow machine guns for legs and fart gold.

Listen Republicans: wouldn't you rather be mocking Obama's tenuous and brief connection to ACORN than having to defend Halliburton's billions in no-bid contracts in Iraq? Isn't it more fun to criticize the Democrats' flirtation with nuking the filibuster than to explain why your own party wanted to do the very same thing not eight years ago? Isn't protesting more fun than calling liberal protesters un-American?

Republicans love money. However, they also love America. While they'll never admit it, most of them haven't forgotten just how f-cked up the country was by the choices and actions of the Republican-controlled Congress and White House. From 2003-2007, the leaders of our beloved nation entered an expensive stupid war based on, at best, poor information, largely ignored the pursuit of justice for those who actually attacked us, alienated our allies, authorized torture on our enemies and spied on our countrymen, made a holocaust of post-9/11 bipartisan and international goodwill, slashed taxes on the wealthy, wantonly spent federal money, decreased regulation on mega-corporations and banks, just to name a few. Basically, they got us to the awful situation we are in now.

While George Bush is the public fall guy for those rough times, Republican politicians realize that running a nation is tough. To any Republican political candidate hoping to be part of this "GOP Revolution" in 2010, I strongly suggest you reconsider. Let Obama burn his political capital (and with it, his marketability) trying to fix the mess your colleagues made. Follow the money, stay out of the way, and for the love of God, don't get elected.

Originally Published: January 27, 2010

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Comments
  1. I did not know Obama’s train of "hopes and dreams" was just going to board and never leave the station. I guess he meant to say hope while dreaming since he would actually do nothing to better the situation. His promises of cutting the deficit were obviously a lie. That 32% advantage of Obama is funny too, as was the Democratic women who lost to Scott Brown had a lead as sizable as 26-27 points within the month of the election. The citizens of Massachusettes spoke very loudly by shifting from "the norm" there and electing someone who believes in working hard for a living, not giving handouts. This mess was created when Barney Frank and Chris Dodd (with the help of Clinton) were in bed with Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac while basically making it a right through legislation for everyone to own a home; something I failed to read or see in the Constitution.

    ThankYouMass!!! | 2010-01-27 - 11:34:07 AM (CDT)
  2. You’re really stupid, ThankYouMass!!!. What an amateur.

    Ted Fucking Stevens | 2010-01-27 - 03:59:20 PM (CDT)
  3. Way to fart gold again Amann. Nice article.

    Jack B. | 2010-01-27 - 05:35:23 PM (CDT)
  4. Why would the GOP even want to get elected when Obabmarama is doing everything Bush used to do and can now take the fall for it?

    even more | 2010-01-27 - 05:50:03 PM (CDT)
  5. I know you write satire, but I think this is actually good advice for the GOP. Basically if they lay in the cut they can not only make a mint, they have an opportunity to rebuild a strong position. The GOP learned long ago (and long ahead of Dems) that talking heads strengthen and embolden the base. Not only that, but in times of discontent moderates are eager to jump on a "change" bandwagon. The GOP desperately needs this. And if they play the rhetorical game right, they might even be able to pull a W on Obama. By that I mean to say they can paint him as someone who was never in touch with the public at large, dangerously unqualified, without an exit strategy to war, and in bed with unsavory characters. Hey, it worked wonders for the Dems.

    If they can keep it from being too bombastic (and that’s a big if), there’s a chance they can reach beyond the teabaggers and get to the moderates that are dissatisfied with Obama’s handling of the economy. A diehard moderate myself (one that for the most part agrees with the Obama ideology), I’ve got to say the pooch is being screwed on that front. While Obama inherited a sh-t situation, he was actively campaigning to do so. There should have been a better plan in place to hit the ground running from the outset. Life’s been hard. Obama should have been more prepared.

    And ThankYouMass!!!, you prove my point. You’re obviously conservative, and you’re worked up. You also have an infantile understanding about both the deficit and the housing crisis. This bodes well for the game plan Amann lays out here.

    Obama never claimed he would wave a magic wand and the deficit would disappear. On the contrary. He reasonably explained that we were way in the hole, and that by acting more prudently we’d slowly climb out. He proposed things like getting out of the middle east responsibly, scaling back the absurd (and absurdly expensive) war on terror, lowering healthcare costs to reduce the strain on Medicare and Medicaid, and growing the tax base and reducing the burden on the EPA by encouraging investment in green technology, amongst many other strategies. Each of these are multi-year projects. Eliminating the deficit was always pitched as a long term goal that our nation must pursue as a matter of security and efficacy.

    Unfortunately, W. left a sh-tstorm so devastating there was essentially no choice but to throw good money after bad to avert a national, and potentially global, depression. Anyone sitting in his seat, Democrat, Republican, or Ron Paul would have done the same. Thus the deficit goes up, and there’s nobody to blame there but W.

    ThankYouMass!!!, what you say about the situation under Clinton is grossly simplified, but mostly accurate. However, it didn’t become a danger to the economy until W showed up. Following the brief slump in the market post-9/11, W used fears about a prolonged recession to justify massive deregulation of securities markets. It was this deregulation that allowed the cowboy mentality to take hold in the financial world, turning Wall St. into a casino. A casino where everybody wins. A casino like that can’t stay open very long.

    And a word of advice ThankYouMass!!! : If you’re going to talk sh-t, man (or woman) up and post under your real name.

    Eric Eickholt | 2010-01-27 - 06:40:50 PM (CDT)
  6. (Eric Eickholt: why should dudeman post his name? you wanna look him up on facebook or something? I’m not agreeing with what he said, just curious why you’re interested in his identity.)

    Werd Amann. However, Ron Paul won the hearts of the most space marines in the last election.

    vet85 | 2010-01-27 - 07:33:27 PM (CDT)
  7. ThankYouMass!!! : Ah, the IF IT’S NOT IN THE CONSTITUTION IT’S NOT LEGAL argument. Terrific.

    WHEREDOESITSAYTHAT | 2010-01-28 - 02:44:29 PM (CDT)
  8. i’m glad the article touched on the small, but infinitely heroic political docket of the space-marine. space-marines are getting less and less public voice these days, and that, my friend, is downright appalling. we need the support of the space-marines now more than ever. so what if they hold a republican bias and are fictitious in reality? we are going to need their support in the coming years. we’ve all seen the movies ’alien’, ’aliens’, ’starship troopers’, and more recently, ’avatar’, which proves to me that demographic will one day become absolutely necessary to preserve the american way of life. i mean, who else is going to be there when the upcoming space battle shit gets real? will smith will NOT save us this time! i feel very American, proud, and downright confident that with the help of this article, the pride of the space-marine will be uplifted and show the universe that these colors do not run.

    space semper fi | 2010-01-28 - 04:36:16 PM (CDT)
  9. I agree, the Republicans need to sit tight, let the Obama wave crash a bit as is already happening, and gain some love from those outside of the diehard conservatives who would vote right no matter what.

    Also, I’m not much for Obama, but for you haters out there, who honestly thought Obama would be able to flip a switch and make all the problems go away? If don’t care if God was president, America is f***ed.

    Katie Ramsey | 2010-01-28 - 05:16:33 PM (CDT)
  10. Go right or go home!

    Tedward | 2010-01-28 - 05:47:46 PM (CDT)
  11. I was going to go on a tirade about how I voted Obama and the main reasoning behind it. Unfortunately my post did not post so I’ll make it as succinct as possible. I did vote for Obama and now I too am getting a little disenfranchised but have I given up the good fight, no. It is really disappointing that in his quest to be Mister Nice-Guy President he’s willing to try and compromise with people who would love nothing more than to see his administration fail, horrifically. Unfortunately this comes with the cost of the voice of the constituency - that’s us. We all pay the price for his compromising and their unwillingness to try to work together. It’s a lose-lose situation for everyone.

    Going to my reasoning for believing in our current President’s promises because his promises seemed more serving the greatest good of all. Working for your freedom leveling the playing field for people who should be sitting in those seats of Congress. My friend and I were discussing belief in the factual truth or a beautiful lie (in the context of a religious debate). As an Atheist I would be inclined to say the truth but I thought about it and said the beautiful lie. Hope for and working towards a better future is something to strive for. Obama promised those things for a weary American public. If hope and hard work and the notions of working for equality are the beautiful lie then I wanted to believe in them so badly.

    To keep it topical and pop-culturally relevant I will paraphrase Mister Conan O’Brien: Don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism -- it is my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere.

    Be skeptical, always but cynicism really leads nowhere. If Mike knows me well enough he knows how really cynical I can get but with the way things are now I think we all live with some kind of hope for a better future in this beautiful country of ours. Well that was dripping with patriotism so now if you’ll excuse me I haven’t slept in about a day now so I think I’m going to bed now.

    Seanzy | 2010-01-29 - 03:37:59 AM (CDT)
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