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Hollywood Roundup
By VR Bryant
Sometimes you just have to root for crazy. Without it, there would be nothing to look to when you're worried that your own life has become a horrible vaudeville version of itself, with laughing wooden puppets and pain and shame. Why did you do it, Barry Gibb? Why? Live and learn. Roundup time.
Joaquin Phoenix new spokesman for Gillette and Pert Plus
Okay, that's unsubstantiated, but how else do you explain this guy going from backwoods bearded freak-o dedicated to pioneering hobo-hop (wit!), to debonair, clean-shaven front man for a suicide prevention project? It was less than a year ago that he was still giving our children night terrors, and now they trust him to be in a room with Miley Cyrus and a camera? Look, I've seen "8MM," and I just don't think that anything good can come from this. Except maybe a decrease in the lice population.
A new low for Amy Winehouse
It would take a minor deity to have made up a story like this: Amy Winehouse used to date this guy Blake Fielder-Civil (no, you're right - that's not a real name). It's been reported that the stately Mr. Civil was party to a recurring intimate relationship with a pre-op transsexual. That he discovered the goodies and continued to get down is not the best part. The best part is that this transsexual was and presumably still is a self-billed Amy Winehouse lookalike. The situation is so thoroughly bizarre, perhaps it'll drive Amy off the heroin and back to just plain old coke.
More Heidi Montag news - for your health
Just as soon as the media firestorm surrounding Montag's Country Buffet-style plastic surgery romp started to die down, she came out with the following (probably unsolicited) statement: "I had too much Demerol, like Michael Jackson did, and my breathing was five breaths per minute, which is like almost dead. [I was] in an aftercare center, there were nurses that were supposed to be tending to me at all times." I'm not going to sit here and say sincerely that I wish she hadn't survived, but really - I kinda wish she hadn't survived. ...is there an echo in here?
Originally Published: January 27, 2010
