.

U Weekly. Serving The Ohio State University in Columbus Ohio

Don't Miss

Bring On the Bacon

Uweekly Print

February 13th, 2008 Archives

Ask a Gay Guy

Gay roommate not the stereotype
Author here. It was sarcastic. I thought I was being pretty over-the-top, especially in contrast to the tone of my first answer. I have no...
6 Comments + Add Yours

Dear Ask a Gay Guy,

Why are you gay? I know it sounds like a stupid question, but seriously. A lot of people say it's biological, but I'm not sure I believe them.

Signed,

Skeptical in Barnacle

After reading your question, my first instinct was to dig up information regarding biological explanations for homosexuality. And I am a man who follows his instincts. So listen carefully, my little doubting Thomas: There is a large and growing body of evidence which suggests that sexual orientation is determined by "a combination of genetic, hormonal, and environmental influences," to quote the American Academy of Pediatrics. For example, you have a 52% chance of being gay if you have a gay identical twin; 22% if he's fraternal. How long your fingers are relative to each other, which way your hair swirls, which hand is dominant (anecdotally, most of my gay friends are left-handed) — all these things correlate with sexual preference. Before you hit me with the crippling "correlation does not equal causation!" argument, calmly ask yourself if you really think a homosexual lifestyle will make your fingers grow differently and swirl your hair in a different direction (I suppose the latter could be the result of excessive styling, but let's ignore that possibility.)

Exploring the biological roots of homosexuality won't prove that it's "good" or "bad." But you didn't ask me about that, and it's beyond the scope of this article to justify my value as a human being to you, the reader. Studies like these simply suggest that being gay is, well, natural. And if you look around a bit, it should be self-evident: in every part of the world, in every socioeconomic background, in every political affiliation — there we are: homosexuals!

Dear Ask a Gay Guy,

Is it true that all gays are totally outrageous and fun? Because my roommate is gay, but he is moody and won't help me pick out socks. Is he a closet stright [sic]? Also, he never brings guys or anyone else to the house. What's up with this?

Signed,

Chantel D.

Chantel, girl! You need to get your roommate good and sauced and haul his ass out to the club! Get him to lighten up a bit! The number one rule of being gay is to have fun! And the number one way to have fun is with lots and lots of boys; so get cracking! Your roommate's sock-matching talents are lying dormant now, but line up the chickenheads and I guarantee your fleet-footed fairy roommate will no longer be all gloom and doom — he just needs to let the dance floor know!

Originally Published: February 13, 2008

↑ Back to the top
 
Comments

  1. I am quite disappointed with your post on the gloomy roommate. A better response would have been to say, "Not everyone fits into stereotypes. Realizing this might even bring him out of his moody temper. He may see that he isn’t being stereotyped anymore and he can be who he is without people making ignorant conclusions about his personality based on his sexual orientation." Being gay myself, I would tell someone they could go to "an unkindly place" if they said I needed to go to a club, dance, and hit on a lot of boys. I’m not necessarily a gloomy person, but I hate dancing, clubs, and fashion. I hate being stereotyped, and seeing this kind of perpetuation of it makes me quite angry. If Chantel D actually reads this comment, please read what I write next. If your roommate is gloomy, talk to him or give him distance. Just please, whatever you do, do not make him go clubbing or shopping if he doesn’t want to. Forcing a stereotype he doesn’t fit onto him will make him feel much worse.

    Justin | 2008-02-13 - 02:32:03 PM (CDT)

  2. Yeah, Justin’s right. I mean, it’s a good idea for anyone to get out of the house once in a while, but would you do this to a straight guy? No, the "number one rule" of being gay should be to let everyone choose their own lifestyle.

    This reminds me of that episode of "The Office."

    Kelly: Oscar, it is SO cool that you’re gay!

    Oscar, to camera, later: Yes. I work at a failing paper company. I am so, so cool.

    Name | 2008-02-13 - 02:56:49 PM (CDT)

  3. He may not be ready to go out and meet people yet or maybe he is meeting people but not telling her about it. But when he is ready to go out, meeting a few gay guys could give him some joy.

    dan | 2008-02-13 - 05:37:16 PM (CDT)

  4. it might be possible that "gay guy" was being a bit tongue-in-ass, err, -cheek, and that he was illustrating the ridiculous assumption Chantel made about all gays being outrageous and fashion savvy by exaggerating his advice to include the more outrageously stereotypical things that homosexuals do/like.

    Matt | 2008-02-15 - 02:59:48 AM (CDT)

  5. @Matt
    I pondered this aspect for a little bit before my original post. However, I do not know the personality of "Gay Guy" and cannot assume this. Also, sarcasm and tongue-in-cheek statements on the internet are hard to convey. If he was going to do that, he should have exaggerated things a lot more so that it sounds ridiculous. Then again, I just might be some soulless web crawler with no ability to pick up on it well.

    Justin | 2008-02-23 - 02:02:12 PM (CDT)

  6. Author here. It was sarcastic. I thought I was being pretty over-the-top, especially in contrast to the tone of my first answer. I have no problem cranking up the tongue-in-cheek factor for next time.

    Chase | 2008-03-25 - 04:46:38 AM (CDT)
Your Thoughts,
Name: (required)
To protect everyone from terrible spam, please enter the following code: (required)
captcha
* Offensive comments will be deleted!
Our Print Edition Visit the Blogs Party Pix, OSU Sports, and Concerts Our current promotions Our current contest Campus Area drink calendar The One Event not to miss