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Confessions of a home-schooled kid

By Irwin K. Fletcher

UWeekly: Your early education began in public schools and then you transitioned into homeschooling. How did that go over with you?
I loved school. I loved all the little projects and the school supplies, but then I thought it was a really novel idea to get to be homeschooled instead, and stay at home. And it was cool, in a way. The first year we did a charter school. So Mom didn't have to come up with all the lesson plans herself. They sent us all the materials and we did them and sent them back. Which actually seems like a good idea. But then we didn't like the restriction of the charter school so we changed to her making up our curriculum. And ... for someone who's really organized, that would be okay. But we were not organized.

UW: Have you found a lot of gaps in your education?
As far as the jobs that I've had, and what I've been able to do, I would say no. I've found myself in general to be able to do jobs and find the information that I need better than other people. If you put me up against somebody straight out of high school, and you made us compete on the SAT? I would flunk it. All the little facts about history and stuff, I don't remember. But if you put me up against somebody who has been out of school the same amount of time as I have, I would probably do better. The one thing that I did learn that kind of fills in any "gaps" is that I learned how to learn. And that's the most important thing.

UW: What about your social life?
Socialization was really weird. There are benefits, and there's bad stuff about it, too. I still can't decide whether or not I think it's the best option socially. I definitely wouldn't be who I am today if I had gone to regular school. I do feel like I was somewhat socially retarded by that because I did not learn about relationships with other people my age until I was older, and had a job and was out of the house. You still end up dealing with the same stuff that happened to your parents in high school, it just happens to you later, when you get a job, instead of at school. In a way that can be better because you're older, and more able to handle it, but then it's kind of strange because you're just now dealing with things everyone else dealt with five years ago. You kind of have to learn all that in a different way. I developed my own personality from being alone, from having time to myself, and doing more reading and having more family time. I developed really strong relationships with my family and a really strong sense of self that wouldn't be there if I had been constantly distracted with fun stuff to do with people my age. I would say it's like I got to learn about myself and my family, and then go on and learn the same social-interaction stuff that everybody learns. I just did it in a different order than other people. It doesn't damage you, but it is different when you get out in regular society, and you feel awkward, you never had a locker, you never went to gym class, you never had a boyfriend ... I didn't go to prom, I don't know about any of that stuff. I don't think socialization is that much of an issue anymore. You can be homeschooled and still take certain classes at high schools or universities, and just take exactly what you want, which I think is ideal. Or you can do school online where you have contact with people but you're not just hanging out with them all the time. You can learn so much more efficiently at home, on your own, when the class isn't geared toward 30 total strangers, and then find other things to do for just social reasons.

UW: Do you ever wonder who you would have been in high school?
Oh yeah. I started out as smart in grade school, so I always wonder if I would have stayed the smart kid and gotten picked on, or just ended up on drugs. I think I would have been one of the arty kids on drugs. I'm not sure ... but that's all I can picture.

UW: What's a fun part of the whole thing for a kid being homeschooled?
One of the best things would be when it snowed, you could pick your own snow day, or have your own library day, or COSI day. I did like that you could just ... up and go do something else. And we got to do some cool field trips that were different than a classroom trip would be. It wasn't like you went to the fruit farm and picked one apple each and then got back on the bus. If we took a field trip, we got to do whatever it was, all the way, as a family, with a couple other families. They lasted all day, and we got to have a good time.

UW: Would you homeschool your kids?
I'm not organized enough. If I was a more organized, disciplined person, then yes. I think homeschooling is a good option, if you are able to be at home with your kids, and I like to see that people are still doing that, but I would never criticize anyone for not wanting to do it either.

UW: In your opinion is it better for the development personal self-discipline to be homeschooled or to be on a schedule in a conventional school?
I'm kind of conflicted about that because I sort of missed the structure of regular school, and having a deadline. But at the same time, once you go out and have a job, that happens anyway. Some people do better with deadlines than other people. Anyone who is going to have any sort of success in life has to learn how to force themselves to something that they don't want to do: wake up at a certain time, go to work, stay at work. You have to learn how to do those things. You have to push yourself, like athletes push themselves beyond the point where they think they can't go on. And they push themselves, and they learn they can go on. Everyone who wants to be successful has to learn that lesson. And whether you learn it in school, or you learn it at your first job, it doesn't matter. You've got to make your own place in the world. And you do. No matter where you came from.

Originally Published: March 3, 2010

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