U Weekly. Serving The Ohio State University in Columbus Ohio

Abby's Tough Love

By Abby D.

I have gotten myself into something that I can't seem to get out of. I started sleeping with this friend of mine right after a bad breakup I had with a girl that I was very much in love with, and still am. Well, the new girl was pretty much supposed to be a rebound, but it's still going on now months later. I guess you could say we are kind of dating - that it isn't just sex - but I don't have feelings for her, even though I know she wants me to be her boyfriend. I guess I kept taking her out on dates because I knew she would continue to put out. She sends me about a billion texts a day, always wanting to know everything I'm doing. I know I started all of this, but now I don't know how to end things with her. My ex called me and wants to get together. I really want to make things work with her. I'm still in love with her, and she said she misses me. Now I don't know how to end things with the rebound girl. I kind of have a dilemma on my hands here. Please help!

Would it have been easier to just hire a prostitute? Why not just be a man about it and be honest with the rebound chick and tell her the truth. Because if you don't tell her everything, you're just stringing her along and you're going to have a really big mess on your hands. So, what will you do if the ex decides she doesn't want to get back with you and then you're stuck with no one? I'm sure you have thought about that and that's why the rebound is still around. Grow up, quit being a selfish asshole, and quit playing stupid childish games with people just to benefit yourself! Maybe it will do you some good if the ex starts playing games with your emotions and strings you along for a bit. Maybe you might learn something. Dick.

I was dating a co-worker for a couple of months. I ended things between the two of us because I felt like he was smothering me. Ever since, he just won't leave me alone! He calls me constantly, and leaves little weird notes on my car. When we are at work, he's constantly trying to catch me alone so he can corner me into a conversation. Whenever I take my lunch break, right there he is, joining me at the same table.

I have not been real assertive with him because I don't want to hurt his feelings, but this is worse than it was when we were seeing each other. I might as well get back with him. I was less frustrated then. Things are just very awkward and uncomfortable for me having to work with him. I have looked for other jobs, but had no luck and this job works very openly with me on my school schedule so I don't really want to quit. But, at the same time, I don't really want to work with him anymore. I don't have feelings for him anymore and I would really like to move on with my life and maybe start dating again, but I'm not sure how he would handle that. What do I do?

There is a consequence for every action. If you are not being assertive, then you are just feeding into his desire to stalk you some more! This guy might be a nut, and he could just be getting warmed up. I think now is the time you get assertive and tell him it's definitely over and you're sorry if that hurts him, but this isn't what you want. Tell him to leave you alone at work and let you just be an individual without being up your ass 24/7. If things get worse, you need to report it to your boss at work. That is harassment and most companies have zero tolerance for that.

Whatever you do, don't play into this and don't feel bad. You ended it once, why should you have to do it again? You have the right to move on with your life. Do it and don't worry about him! If he gets any creepier, you may want to consider a restraining order or, at least, making a report with the police.

I have a friend that has gotten involved in a situation where he is being used. He's in love with this girl that just uses him for money. She's already talked him into putting a cell phone in his name for her and she never pays him for the bill. She treats him like crap and he's such a great guy and deserves so much better than that. He told her that he had feelings for her and she got mad at him and told him she was not interested - only interested in being friends. But, she's constantly asking him for money and he gives it to her without thinking twice. He only hears from her when she wants money. I'm tired of my friend being treated this way, I have told him before that I really wanted to talk to her, but he got really upset with me and told me to mind my own business.

I'm so sick of seeing him hurt. He always comes to me to talk about it and I always tell him to just stay away from her, but that's something he refuses to do. I don't know what to say to him to help him see what she is doing to him.

If he is in love with this girl, he is going to continue to do these things for her because, to him, he does it unconditionally. So it does not matter to him if he is paid back or not, he knows he's the hero at that moment and he can always be there for her when she needs him. Unfortunately, he has turned himself into a doormat and she has learned she can stomp all over that without ever worrying that things might change.

If you keep on him about her it will only get worse. He has to figure this all out by himself - and he will eventually. It will take him getting hurt a whole lot more for him to finally do something about it. Then, you can be there waiting to help console him. Maybe try setting him up on some dates or something. Get him out there in the world so he can see that there are women that are not just in it to use him and would actually care about him unconditionally if he wanted.

Originally Published: July 1, 2009

↑ Back to the top