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Hit up the bar with your wingwoman!

By Lisa Scott

We've all seen it before. The single guy approaches a female and her group of friends, delivers a bad pick-up line, and walks away defeated, faced with ridicule, embarrassment, and a strong sense of rejection.

When it comes to meeting women, it is understood that in most cases, men are usually the ones who have the most work cut out for them. Unfortunately, women have not made it easy for men to approach them, especially on the bar scene.

Approaching a single female in a crowd of her friends is often said to be a very intimidating experience for most men. Anthony Cosby, 21, said the situation can be downright scary at times.

"It's hard to spit game to a girl if she's with a group of friends," he said. "They'll catch on, and you might get rejected by the girl, too."

In order to decrease the chance of humiliation, men have learned to work together in order to increase their success rate and come out on top. The solution - "Wingman" pickup strategy.

The technique

The term Wingman came into popularity following the 1986 film "Top Gun," because it mimics the support that the Navy Fighter pilots used to protect each other during their missions.

Most people know of the wingman. He's the guy who accompanies his buddy to the bar to help him pick up women. He does whatever it takes to give his friend some time alone with the girl of choice, including lying, luring away the sidekick friends, and interfering when another male tries to approach the "target." He's someone who will talk to the woman, make the introductions, and even help get the phone number.

"The Wingman is just to keep the 'other chick' occupied so she won't want to leave and take her friend with her," said James Dawson, 23. "No one really wants to talk to her, and she's jealous that her "hot friend" is getting attention, but you have to keep her entertained or the entire mission fails."

In 2003, Coor's beer went so far as to promote a commercial depicting this popular phenomenon. In the spoof, the wingman is said to be "taking one for the team" by keeping the plain-Jane friend occupied while his friend hits the dance floor with the real catch.

However, despite its ongoing success, the game has begun to get old.

Women have learned to recognize the phenomenon and have developed strategies to counteract the wingman's pickup mission.

"It becomes pretty obvious when they're playing the wingman game," said Danisha Brown, 20. "After a while it's easy to figure out. If you're already interested in the guy, you might let him think their game is working, though, but most of the time you don't really fall for it."

Further, as Hollywood exposes the rules of the game in films such as "Wedding Crashers" and "The 40-Year- Old Virgin," women are becoming more aware of the techniques used by the male duo and can often spot a wingman scenario with ease.

But guys aren't willing to give up that easily, and have learned to fight fire with fire by using the one tool that never fails…another woman.

Behold the wingwoman

In the past, men and women had different techniques to approaching the opposite sex. Men have been commonly associated with the idea of the "Wingman." However, over time, the wingman concept has spread across the gender line and made the dating game a little more interesting — and a little harder to decipher. There are now online businesses centered around this concept — but it comes with a price. Sites such as Ladywingman charge approximately $50 per hour for their services. The men are paired with a female wingman who is in charge of breaking the ice in crowds of female friends, generating attention toward the male, and creating a less hostile reaction from skeptical females who have seen a little too much of the old wingman action.

According to the site, men become attractive by association. The site states that if you're with a beautiful, lively, entertaining woman, people will want to congregate around you so they can be part of the fun.

Why it works — jealousy and competition

It is commonly known that women like competition. Jealousy fuels a natural competitive instinct — one that men are now using to their advantage.

"Women want things that they can't get, and they like the challenge, so they'll try to get the guy just because he's already with a woman," Dawson said. "I don't understand why, but it's usually the case."

In her book, "Tripping the Prom Queen: The truth about Women and Rivalry," author Susan Shapiro Barash conducted a study of five hundred women. Sixty-five percent admitted to being jealous of a friend or boyfriend, and 25 percent said they themselves had stolen a friend's husband or boyfriend.

"Sometimes healthy competition for what we want turns into a problematic desire to have something merely because a rival already has it. We didn't want that guy until we saw him with our best friend...suddenly we've created a contest," based not on what they want but on what they don't want their rival to have.

Seventy percent of the women interviewed said they were familiar with the concept of women intentionally stealing another's man or lover, and 25 percent said they themselves had stolen a friend's husband or boyfriend.

Linda Young, 29, said," Sometimes guys will try to talk to you, and you really don't pay attention to them, but when you see him with another girl or hear a friend talk about how great he is, you sometimes find yourself trying to flirt with him."

Therefore, men have slowly begun to ditch the guys and bring along wingwomen to increase their likelihood for attention and a potential hook-up.

Originally Published: July 9, 2008

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