Wow, what a night for voters! Hillary Clinton proved once again to be the second coming of the “comeback kid.� According to complete but unofficial returns, Clinton molly-whopped Barack Obama in Ohio 54% to 44%. Once considered down and out, Clinton came back in Texas, Ohio, and Rhode Island with a vengeance.  

Aside from winning outright the three primary contests that the media had dubbed her ‘firewall’, Hillary Clinton beat Barack Obama in every major demographic that Obama claimed as strengths. In the aftermath of the Wisconsin primary, the press was all too eager to tout graphs showing Barack Obama leading the race among white men, non-union households and high-income Democrats. In Ohio however, Clinton bested Obama among white men by 19%, non-union households by 9% and high-income Democrats by 5%. Similar results in Texas provide compelling evidence that Wisconsin was an anomaly and Obama’s demographic advantage is non-existent.  

In addition, the Texas primary and caucus results suggest that support for Obama may be much shallower than previously thought. Texas is unique in that after primary polls close, Democrats meet again and caucus to apportion a certain amount of remaining delegates. The fact that Clinton handedly won the Texas primary in which over 2 million people voted, yet lost the caucus, where a paltry 100,000 participated, lends itself heavily to the idea that caucuses are not representative of true voter sentiment. The caucus process is discriminatory by design; some people- workers, the homebound, the elderly- often cannot attend during the small window of hours in which caucuses are normally held. Consequently, the results of any caucus should be suspect.  

The evening was a clear Clinton win. Obama is no longer presumptive. The race goes on. 

On a lighter note, Sentinel Reporters were with the candidates following the election fallout and caught their responses to the returns.   

The Clinton campaign was ecstatic. In Ohio, Clinton spoke to reporters after her speech: 

 “You know, I can’t say enough about how much this win means to me. There are those in the media who don’t want to see a woman become President. There is a kind of uh, chauvinistic attitude among many male media elites, a ‘Bro’s before Ho’s’ mentality if you will. Well, clearly tonight it’s flipped, Ho’s before Bro’s. Gloria Steinem and I only have this to say: you all can scrub the White House kitchen floor for us next January, bitches!� 

 The Obama campaign didn’t have an immediate official comment, however, one Sentinel reporter in San Antonio caught Barack disheveled slouched behind a tour bus half way through a pack of menthols:  

 “I just don’t get it. I hoped… I hoped I’d win; I hoped and hoped and really, really just hoped. Did you see me walking down the street; I was just walking and hoping all the livelong day. Why don’t they get it? I’m the man, I’m the guy. Come on, who else can say that we are the change we have been waiting for and not be booed off of the stage? I mean, I have hope. Just ask the media, they love me, LOVE me. And you know it’s true love because I haven’t accomplished a goddamned thing, ever. So it’s an irrational and clearly genuine affection.

 This morning when I woke up, I looked in the mirror and told myself that hope would find the way and carry me through. I mean, come on, don’t they know how articulate and black I am? Didn’t they hear that I passed up a lot of money on Wall Street to be a community organizer? I mean they hoped for a guy like me all their life, didn’t they? At least I hoped they’d hope that hope would make me President. Well you know what? If Hillary wants to criticize me and thwart my coronation, so be it. Tell Clinton to stand by; in the next six weeks they are about to feel the real wrath of hope.� 

 Michele Obama only had this to say:    

 “For the first time in my life, I am proud of my country…minus Ohio, Texas, Rhode Island, New Hampshire, California, Florida, Michigan…�  

 No Sentinel reporter was available to talk to John McCain, however, we did have one in the Oval Office with the President. Flipping between the election returns and reruns of 24, G-Dub had the following to say:   

 “Well, I sure am glad that those Democrats didn’t Presidentialize that fella Barry Obama. Did you know his middle name is Hussein? I think I’ve made it clear how I feel about guys named Hussein. Besides, it’s McCain’s turn to be president. Though, with his track record against torture, I sure hope he doesn’t make the FCC cancel 24. This is the best darn show on TV.�     

 More Sentinel primary coverage will continue after Hillary and Barack spend six weeks and millions of dollars fighting each other in Pennsylvania.    -Will

Steve McIntyre Coming to OSU Campus May 16   Steve McIntyre, editor of the blog ClimateAudit (voted Best Science Blog of 2007), will be coming to give a talk at OSU on May 16^th.  The details of the presentation are forthcoming.  

You may remember Steve as the one who debunked the famous Hockey Stick graph that the IPCC relied on for some of its reports.  He also discovered an error in the method NASA used to massage the US surface temperature data; making 1934 the warmest year on record (until days later when NASA, once again, manipulated the original data format, forcing it to be ‘statistically tied’ with 1998).

 Steve has also been trying, apparently in vain, to get OSU’s Distinguished Professor Lonnie Thompson to release or archive his original ice core data in accordance with universally accepted journal publishing standards and government granting agency standards.  To date, Professor Thompson has remained steadfastly silent.   

We are now taking bets on whether or not the good Professor will show for McIntyre’s talk. 

-Newbaum Turk

The Northern Illinois University shootings that occurred on February 14, 2008 are surely devastating to the people of Illinois, and more particularly, to the family and friends of those whose lives were taken during the attack.  The minute I heard of this massacre on television I reacted in two ways: 1) I can’t believe this happened again, so soon after Virginia Tech, and 2) I’m glad it wasn’t on my little brother’s campus.

This thought solicited me to call my little brother. Of course, his phone was dead like always, but soon I will see him, and it will be there that I beg him to watch his back. Though I myself will be safe from campus shootings for the next eighteen months, I still can’t completely get away from worrying about the danger of a shooting occurring: my little brother Nick lives on Miami University’s campus and is supposedly going to class (almost) every day. Maybe I’ll buy him a pocket knife and a can of mace for his birthday.

Then I had another thought. So what if he watches his back and has a two-inch blade primarily used for cutting fruit? So what if he notices a man walking into a room caring a fucking SHOTGUN? After all, it’s a fool who brings a knife to a gun-fight.

Depending on the position in the room, there is little he can do while unarmed, other than duck and cover or try to run.  Both carry very weighty consequences, and the wrong choice at such a violently escalated time could turn his life into another sad story on the news.

He is not, after all, legally allowed to properly defend himself.

Miami University, like The Ohio State University, is a “gun-free zone�. This means, no student can carry a gun anywhere on their person (or even in their car) on any part of campus grounds.

This led me to another thought: okay, Nick is about 3 months shy of turning twenty. This means he can’t carry a gun even if Miami students were allowed to carry on campus. This is according to the State of Ohio’s law that one must be twenty-one years of age to conceal and carry a weapon on their person or in their vehicle.

And finally the end of this thought trail – if other Miami students who fit the requirements of Ohio law were allowed to carry concealed, the likelihood that Nick would be attending class in a large lecture with someone who can indeed carry a weapon is very high. And because of this student, not only is Nick given better chances to survive this kind of heinous attack on human life, all of the students in the auditorium are better off if that armed student has proper training.

When Peter Odighizuwa opened fire in the Appalachian School of Law, he was subdued by two students who had gone outside to retrieve their personal firearms from their vehicles. He only managed to kill three people before Tracy Bridges and Mikael Gross held him off from killing others.

One cannot help but think that the death toll could have been lower had Gross and Bridges been allowed to carry their weapons on their person.

I am not an owner of a firearm, and I have yet to receive any training allowing me to carry one. I am not familiar with the tactical use of firearms, nor on what to do with a weapon in a situation where a maniac enters a room and opens fire on innocent people. There are, however, many people who have devoted a wealth of their time to properly using weapons as an asset in self-defense.  This isn’t about vigilante justice, or about going “John Wayne� on some crazy ex-grad student – many of the people who are legally allowed to carry a concealed weapon are trained in the art of keeping a cool head, and utilizing their weapon in a way that could seriously cut down the death rate in events like those of NIU, Virginia Tech, and the dozens of other campus shootings that have happened in the past.

It is true that having a gun on you does not guarantee you will save yourself and everyone else around you – but it certainly tilt the odds away from the killer.

The laws against permitting properly-licensed and trained individuals to carry concealed on their respective campuses gives murders like Steve Kazmierczak and Sueng-Hui Cho a serious tactical advantage: they know, for almost certain, that no person in the room they are attacking is armed. By continuing to prevent people from responsibly defending themselves, they continue to give such maniacal killers an advantage over the students the university administrators themselves wish to protect.

All I can hope is that my little brother is in a position to exit easily if an attacker were to start shooting in his classroom – after all, that is the only chance he has given the current anti-self-defense environment of Ohio’s campuses.

-Chelsea

-William Munroe

   

After witnessing the greatest Super Bowl of my young life, a few things have become clear, there were more winners than just the Giants, and there were definitely more losers than just the Patriots. Here’s a quick run through of the winner and losers outside of the two teams playing.

WINNERS: Football Fans

After one quarter, it was clear that this Super Bowl was going to be one for the ages. The Giants marched down the field and kicked a field goal, chewing up ten minutes in the process. The Pats scored quickly, but the Giants defense stepped up. They harassed Tom Brady all night. Brady was sacked five times and hit another nine. While the Giants defense stifled the highest scoring offense in history, the Giants offense did just enough to keep the Pats in it. After the Giants scored early in the fourth to take a 10-7 lead, it was obvious that this game’s ending was going to be special. A long Patriots drive led to the second lead change of the quarter, and then the magic started. Eli Manning led the Giants on one of the most memorable game winning drives of all time. 4th and 1? Converted. 3rd and 12? Converted. And don’t forget one of the most outrageous Super Bowl plays ever (http://youtube.com/watch?v=d3g35ZslZs0), which, I’m sure will be included in every Super Bowl video montage from here on out. The hype for this Super Bowl was ridiculous, but Super Bowl XLII was even bigger then it’s hype. In my book, it will go down as the greatest Super Bowl of all time.

LOSER: Super Bowl Commercial Fans

When I first planned to write a blog about the Super Bowl, I had planned to dedicate the entire blog to the Super Bowl commercials. I planned to grade every commercial from the opening kickoff to the closing whistle, and I kept close notes of every commercial. However, as the night wore on, I realized Super Bowl commercials have become a joke and not in a good way. It seems like every company tries to find an offbeat, quirky commercial that all the hipsters will find innovative and clever. News flash, watching some chick’s heart jump out of her chest, walk into her boss’ office and quit is not clever, it’s fucking weird. Same goes for screaming animals, giant delivery pigeons, and a guy hooking up jumped cables to his nipples and drinking an energy drink. Quick suggestion for major corporations looking to field a successful Super Bowl commercials, don’t be quirky. Be funny. Even better, get some sexy chicks to be funny. Because, you know, probably 75% of the Super Bowl audience is dudes.

LOSERS: The city of Boston

Ever since the Pats acquired Randy Moss for a pickle and a box of crackers, people have been lining up to anoint themselves douche of the week. Every Boston sports fan/pundit, Boston blowhard, and bandwagon Boston fan told anyone who would listen that the Pats were going to win the Super Bowl. The weakest part of the team, wide receiver, was fixed with the acquisition of Moss, Wes Welker, and Donte Stallworth. The Patriot hyperbole grew louder as the Pats coasted to the only 16-0 season in NFL history, setting tons of team and individual records along the way. At the same time the Pats were trouncing all comers, the Red Sox had won their second World Series title in four years, and the Celtics exploded out of the gate with a 31-3 record which led to talks of a 70 win season. With so much local success, many sports professionals/fans wondered aloud if Boston would bring home all three major championships in one season. The Boston fanaticism had grown to epic proportions. Now? That silence is a whole city realizing that Eli Manning and Peyton Manning outplayed Tom Brady in back to back seasons, the Patriots brilliant season means absolutely nothing now, and Spygate will continue to fester until the full truth comes out. Not to mention, the Sox missed a chance to acquire the best pitcher in baseball, and since the Celtics blazing start, they’ve gone 5-6 with Ray Allen and Kevin Garnet both missing extended time. Humble pie, a dish best served cold, bitches.

WINNERS: Every other city in America

Silence is golden.

WINNERS: The Manning Brothers

Since there college days Peyton and Eli have been blasted for not being able to win the big game. Peyton was chastised for never being able to beat Florida, and once in the NFL, the Pats. Eli was dogged because he could never win more than 8-9 games at Ol’ Miss (but then again, who can?). He also faced severe criticism because he forced a trade from San Diego, played wildly inconsistently his first three and a half seasons, and was constantly compared to an older brother who is on pace to set every major passing record in the game. Now, they are both Super Bowl MVPs, both defeating the Tom Brady led Patriots along the way to their trophies, and they can finally put to bed the negative big game stigma.

LOSERS: Tom Brady

It was pretty evident that the Giants pass rush wasn’t going to let him play as efficiently as he wanted to, and it’s quite possible that his ankle was much worse than anyone knows, but this is the third year in a row that Brady and the Pats have come up short. In Brady’s last three playoff losses his stats are:

Compared to this past season in which he averaged:

On top of Tom’s lousy Super Bowl performance, his arrogant attitude at media day also makes his him look like a huge asshole. Long story short, Plax Burress predicted a 23-17 Giants win, to which Tommy boy replied, “We’re only going to score 17 points?â€� Condescending Tom chuckle. “OK. Is Plax playing defense? I wish he had said 45-42 and gave us a little credit for scoring more points.” In hindsight, it kinda of looks like Plax was being kind of generous, don’t ya think, Tom?

WINNERS: Tom Coughlin

In the past three seasons, Tiki Barber (numerous times) and Jeremy Shockey had questioned Coughlin’s coaching abilities, the New York media blamed Coughlin for two second half collapses, and after last season he was only given a one year extension, pushing his contract through 2007. After the defense allowed 80 points during an 0-2 start, Coughlin lightened from his stern disciplinarian style, and his players rallied behind him. The defense rebounded to finish 8^th overall in the NFL, and the Giants finished 10-6. When facing the Pats in week 17, Coughlin played his starters the entire game and took the Pats to the wire. After that, the Giants were able to win in Tampa, Dallas, and Green Bay, before defeating the heavily favored Patriots. After his Super Bowl win, no one in New York is claiming Coughlin was out coached, though many are applauding him for out coaching the resident evil genius of the NFL, Bill Belichick. Strangely, Tiki Barber and Jeremy Shockey are quiet.

LOSERS: Tiki Barber

Tiki, notorious for shooting his mouth off when things went bad, criticized the Giants before the season began. He claimed that Manning’s attempt at leading the team “was humorous�, and he claimed that he might still be a Giant if Tom Coughlin hadn’t returned as coach.

Tiki, Eli and Coach Coughlin called, they just wanted say, “suck it. And enjoy doing the weekend edition of the Today Show, you fucking douche.�

OTHER NOTABLE WINNERS:

Giants defensive line (would have been a major winner, but most people already knew they were really good), Karma, the city of New York, Plaxico Burress (paging Mr. Namath), Notre Dame football (Justin Tuck is living proof there are still great players coming out of that program), 1985 Bears (18-1, Super Bowl Champs), 1984 49ers (18-1, Super Bowl Champs), 1972 Dolphins (17-0, Super Bowl Champs), Mercury Morris (looks like you’re still the only one living in the trailer park), team cameramen (little harder to win without videotape from the opponent’s walk through), and David Tyree(most outstanding Super Bowl catch ever).

OTHER NOTABLE LOSERS:

Bill Belichick (would have been a major loser, but most people already think he’s a smug, dirtbag, asshole, douche face, dickwad, Bernie Kosar cutting, cunt. Making him a major loser just seemed redundant), cheaters, Jeremy Shockey (yeah, I’d get wasted too if my team took off after I got hurt), Rodney Harrison (see Bill Belichick. Just replace Bernie Kosar cutting with HGH using), Gene Wojciechowski (not going to be able to whack off to the perfect season anymore, sorry Wojo), ESPN (no endless debate about the Pats greatness), 2002 Rams, 1968 Colts, and Josh McDaniels (way to be aggressive, pussy.)

In our first official post for UWeekly, way back in October, Chach concluded his entry about the Patriots with a resounding “’Fuck You’ to Bill Belibitch and the rest of the Boston Jabronis who can’t even pronounce the word ‘car’.�

There’s something very symmetrical about that…

Fuck you Bill Belichick, Tom Brady, Rodney Harrison, Boston fans, and the rest of the douche bag, 18-1, un-Super Bowl Champ Pats.

Kevin

Now I know what you’re all thinking - “great, she’s going to turn this into an ‘I Hate Hillary Clinton’ blog.” And while it is true that my sentiments toward her are enough to turn the blood in my veins to ice, I’ll try not to let myself get too carried away. Still, I have to make a post about something I’m surprised that I’ve failed to notice up until now. 

“AMERICANS WANT THEIR DESTINY BACK!!!!” “I BELIEVE EVERYONE WHO WORKS FULL TIME IN AMERICA SHOULD BRING HOME AN INCOME THAT CAN SUPPORT THEIR FAMILIIIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“HILLARY! WHY ARE YOU YELLING?!

As I said, I’m surprised I had not noticed her voluminous voice up until now, but after youtube-ing multiple Billary speeches I realized that half of the time she’s talking, it’s really more like screaming. Maybe one can chalk it up to her attempts to be forceful or firm, but the sound has had a different effect, and more resembles the sound of nails on a chalkboard.

I watched other candidate speeches to see if maybe I’d just missed a common presidential-hopeful trait. No. Not so much. Rudy Guiliani seems to maintain the most calm demeanor (though it’s true he hasn’t had much to be victorious about) and John McCain will occasionally raise his voice at the beginning of a sentence to quit his screaming fans, I mean, voters down, but usually his voice returns to appropriate volume throughout the rest of that speech segment. And sure, Ron Paul can get a little worked up at times, but he uses what I like to call the ‘drag-out-the-end-of-your-words’ technique, as opposed to screaming at the top of his lungs.

I don’t really have some punchy political analysis for this. I really don’t know why she’s screaming at everyone. I suppose I can speculate and wonder that perhaps she is afraid if she isn’t belligerent, nobody will pay any attention to her. But frankly, and as a woman I’m embarrassed to say this, it may be she’s just trying to appear as dominating as possible, and because she is of the female gender, she is simply appearing strange, condescending, and nagging. Regardless of why, it’s incredibly annoying.

Think I’m kidding? Here is a seven minute speech on YouTube (I couldn’t punish you by delivering the whole thing):http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OY1Pd0ykh60.

And don’t worry about adjusting the volume on your computer; you’ll hear her just fine.

Chelsea

While I stress myself over the Republican primaries, the Democratic primaries have served as a source of great amusement over the last few weeks. As I watch Hillary Clinton go head-to-head with Barack Obama, I can’t help but laugh deliriously every time Clinton makes herself look like a fool. From her crying spell (great, way to represent women Hillary, thanks), to her vicious muck-raking, to her constant blathering about Barack Obama being a candidate for the “winedrinkers�, while she herself is of the “beerdrinkers, Billary Clinton has proven that she can’t stand the heat of the election, and this primary season isn’t even the tough part.

I felt bad for Barack Obama as I saw her hammer him with negative comments and questions in Nevada. She refused to let the debate be one of “inspiration� and good-old-fashioned uplifting and empty political rhetoric for the common American. Instead, Obama was forced in the ring with Clinton into an absurd boxing match, which really just made them both look ridiculous in the end.

John Edwards wasn’t kidding when he said he is the candidate for the “grown-up wing” of the Democratic Party.

It often bothers me that some of the Republican candidates mock Ron Paul for his platform – but it is nowhere near the kind of senseless and moreover, irrelevant accusations and snide comments that Billary throws in Obama’s face. I don’t care if Obama did drugs when he was in college; he would simply join the club of GWB and Hillary’s own husband who have tested the narcotic waters. But then again, I would never vote for Obama anyway, so maybe that has something to do with my apathy about such accusations.

Still, I can’t help but wonder why Clinton keeps telling Obama he is inexperienced and too “rich�. Clinton herself has done little in Washington, save one real term as Senator (she was re-elected in 2006, sure, but with all the Presidential hoopla I’m sure her duties as Senator are sufficiently lacking this term), and a merely holds a “First Lady’s Club� card. I guess, though, as First Lady she did try to formulate policy in the form of a national healthcare plan. Oh, wait, Hillarycare failed miserably, even with her own party sitting as majority in Congress. Essentially, it seems silly for Billary to nag at Obama that he has no experience, I don’t know what she was smoking (har har), but she doesn’t have much herself.

Second, Billary is always going on and on about Obama being the candidate of the “well-educated, liberal elite� and that she herself is of the “sons and daughters of toil� (ahem, may I have your papers comrade?). That’s weird, as far as I know, Billary herself made her career as a corporate lawyer, after she graduated from Yale law school. She is hardly the “everyman�, and what’s more, is there something wrong with being a successful person Hillary? Should I be punished for working hard and saving money so that I can take care of my family? If so, why then, are you so rich and running for President of the United States? I suppose that sort of hypocrisy ought to be brushed aside though, when she whiningly begs for sympathy by invoking the “my husband cheated on me� card.

Long story short, as much as I want to be worried about Clinton, I can’t help but laugh in her scary face. Her inability to handle the elections with any kind of poise or self-control shines a spotlight on how she would handle the presidency. Her very own inexperience and hypocrisy should be clear indicators that she is definitely not the woman for the job. All I can say is, I’m glad that the democratic party picked such a ridiculous person to be their frontrunner – I can’t wait for the general election campaigns to begin, because if she does get the democratic nod, we will get to sit and watch as the polarizing, socialist  platform she espouses comes crashing down to the ground.

Chelsea

On Sunday January 6^th, 2008, after an eleven year layoff, one of America’s most famed institutions returned to television, The American Gladiators. The show returned with twelve new gladiators, two news hosts (Hulk Hogan and Laila Ali), and almost all the same events, including the Eliminator, Joust, Assault and Powerball.

I realize the show has always been corny, over the top, and completely insignificant for anyone outside the age range of seven to twenty-five, but I was legitimately pumped for the premiere. Several friends and I were down in New Orleans for the National Title game, but on Sunday, instead of going to Bourbon Street we stayed in to watch the premiere of American Gladiators.

Surprisingly, the show sucked. Big time. Now I know you’ll probably ask, “how can you say that all the games are the same?â€�, or “The contestants and gladiators are all better athletes so it should be betterâ€� you might say. Or my personal favorite, “It has the Hulkster, brother, it’s got to be sweet.â€� And honestly, you would re right on all accounts. The games are the same, everyone is more athletic, and Hulk Hogan’s involved; on paper the awesome meter is through the roof. But it just doesn’t work, something doesn’t click. Even more surprising, at least to me, is that people are continuing to watch. Based on the ratings from the first four episodes, NBC has already decided to pick up Gladiators for a second season.

Why are people continuing to watch? My guess is that the people that continue to watch are people experiencing Gladiators for the first time. They love the brute mentality of the show. But eventually the newcomers are going to stumble across old Gladiator highlights on YouTube, and they will realize that they are watching a much inferior show. Once they realize the new Gladiators inferiority to the original, the ratings will slowly decrease (more likely catastrophically collapse, but I digress). BUT, the show is salvageable. There are enough good pieces there to return the Gladiators to respectability. All NBC has to do to save the Gladiators and their future plummeting ratings is follow these few new few Gladiator Amendments.

1. Drop the Hulkster and Laila Ali

Don’t get me wrong I like Hulk Hogan as much as anybody. I grew up right in the middle of Hulk Mania, and my pre-high school years were spent during the twilight of big time wrestling. Laila Ali…well, she’s related to Muhammad Ali. As much as I like Hulk, and as indifferent as I am towards Ali, they both bring absolutely nothing to the show, especially Ali. Here’s the thing, neither of these two are trained interviewers. Laila Ali’s speech is stilted and robotic and someone needs to tell Hulk that saying “So you’re a fireman, brotherâ€� isn’t really a question. Every time they interview someone I feel like I’m watching a parody of the old Saturday Night Live skit, “The Chris Farley Show”. “So, Mark, brother…uh…do you remember when you were a fireman? That was awesome.” Of the two, Ali needs to go. She has no insight, very little personality, and she’s not that attractive (sorry ladies, but probably 95% of the people watching are dudes, and Laila’s just not cutting it). Hulk on the other hand has years of experience with a physical “sportâ€� and he’s well versed in feigning excitement over silly shit that doesn’t really mean anything. So, NBC, put the Hulkster in the booth to say things like, “Oh, brother, Wolfman just unloaded on Dustyâ€� when something awesome happens, and bring back Mike Adamle to do play by play and the interviewing. Because, you know, he’s an actual sportscaster who knows how to use the English language.

2. Drop the Scripts

It’s blatantly obvious that the show is scripted. From the Hulk’s sad attempt at asking a question (“Use brother at the end of my sentence and inflect my voice. Perfect.â€�) to the wooden and uneasy response from the contestants. It makes you wonder how many table rehearsals it takes before they are ready to film the show. What was special about the first Gladiators was that Adamle, because he was/is an actual journalist, had relevant questions that he would ask the contestants. Now, maybe he didn’t write them, but that doesn’t matter because the contestants weren’t scripted. If they were, they were some damn good actors. But the spontaneity of contestant’s answers helped raise the excitement of the show. Their blood was flowing and they tended to say some boastful things that not only fired themselves up, but it also fired up the other contestant and the Gladiators. Which leads me to my next point…

3. Get Some Brash, Cocky, Bad Ass Contestants

Here’s what I noticed about the first batch of contestants on the Gladiators, no fire. Absolutely none. They “were so excited to be hereâ€� and they “loved the show when I was kidâ€� or “Blah blah blah, could I be a bigger pussy?â€� Could we please get someone in here who just wants to kick some Gladiator ass? When I was a kid, the contestants and the Gladiators seemed to genuinely dislike each other. Maybe that’s because the Gladiators were going through roid-rage, but the contestants were never afraid to get nasty and talk some shit. I can’t even begin to count how many near fights seemed to break out almost every week. The contestants now want to have a nice clean, fun game. Fuck that! We’re watching the show to see some people get their ass beat, and honestly we want it to be the Gladiators getting their asses handed to them. We’re cheering for you, little guy. So stop acting like a little pussy contestant from American Idol whose “thrilled” they made it to Hollywood. Talk some shit. Cheap shot a Gladiator. Fuck a Gladiator’s girlfriend. Stop giving the Gladiators fives and hugs after the event. If you get beat by a Gladiator grab your nuts, make a nasty face, walk back to the locker room, and get ready to beat some more Gladiator ass.

4. Could We Get Some Bad Ass Gladiator Names, Please?

Let me give you two groups of names and you tell me which group sounds more intimidating.

GROUP A

Wolf, Hellga, Crush, Militia, Venom, Stealth, Fury, Siren, Mayhem, Toa, Titan, Justice.

GROUP B

Gemini, Nitro, Ice, Blaze, Laser, Diamond, Thunder, Turbo, Havoc,

Granted, they’re both pretty gay, but any team that is supposed to be fierce and intimidating, cannot have a person on the team named Hellga. Especially when Hellga is fat, slow, and terrible at every single game.

And could we have just one Gladiator on roids? We need that one crazy son of a bitch that’s willing to go to prison for this show. Pretty please?

5. Stop Catering to Women

NBC, you are not going to get chicks to watch this. It’s not going to happen. Women are never going to confuse this with The Bachelor, American Idol, or Dancing with the Stars. They just won’t. Women like their reality shows with cattiness, backstabbing, and celebrities. You offer none of that, so don’t try to write it in. You contestants are too goddamn giddy to be catty or backstabbing. And if you can’t get anyone more famous than Laila Ali and Hulk Hogan to host, then you’re probably not going to have any celebrities either. So don’t ask chick questions. Don’t ask about the contestants’ families. Don’t have them tell us about some terrible tragedy they had to overcome. Don’t point out their significant others out in the stands. Don’t try typical reality show bullshit either. We don’t need confessional cams. We don’t give a shit what the contestants really think about so and so. Don’t try to stir up trouble just for the hell of it. We don’t care. We don’t give a shit who they’re playing for. We don’t care how many kids they have. We don’t care if they’re really upset when they lose. 95% of your audience is dudes. We want to see asses kicked and shit talking. Competing at a high athletic level is going to guarantee some type of drama, save the reality nuances for shit like The Hills.

Maybe it’s too late. Maybe the lastest edition of Gladiators can’t be saved, but I hold out hope. I’ve only had the chance to catch the premiere, and I’m sure I’ll return later to check it out again. But unless they make drastic changes, I’ll stick to watching Classic American Gladiators on YouTube, and playing the Gladiator game on my Sega.

KO

As I AM a suscriber to the Ron Paul newsletter, an active Ron Paul campaigner, and most especially, a vigorous Ron Paul donator, I would like to share with you a letter which Ron Paul wrote to all of his fans/followers/campaigners. It highlights the many problems in the modern election system, but moreover, continues to show you how very sweet Ron Paul is. This is a letter written by him, not his campaign staff: you can tell from a few errors, but that’s OK, even The Sentinel staff lets in a typo or ten here and there. For your reading enjoyment, I present to you - “How Can I Say Thankyou?”

In Iowa, many hundreds of volunteers worked day and night for our campaign. College kids took their Christmas vacations in the snow for freedom. Thousands of people donated to make it all possible. We had manyphone calls, brochures, mailings, advertising. Revolutionaries from all over the country sent handwritten letters to every voter, and despite national media attacks and censorship, we got more than 10% of the vote.

We also soundly beat a certain ex-mayor who started off the first debat by attacking a pro-American foreign policy and the explanatorydoctrine of “blowback,” the CIA’s term for foreign intervention that causes trouble for us in return. The Golden Rule applies to nations as well as to individuals.

And speaking of debates, FOX blocked my participation in its last New Hampshire debate, but I think that hurt FOX more than us. We had a terrifically successful townhall meeting at the same time, and Jay Leno invited me on the Tonight Show again to discuss it. Many members of our movement were galvanized to overcome the bias, including me!

In our Iowa campaign, since it was a caucus, we were dealing with party activists for the most part, not the people. And some of the activists were very unhappy to hear our views, trying to scream them down! Others thought that peace violates Christianity. But New Hampshire is another story. There is a state and a people tailor-made for us. Live Free!
Then there are Michigan, South Carolina, and Super Tuesday and its nearly 20 primaries. Frankly, we need $23 million more to have a chance of beating the establishment candidates.

I am working hard for our ideas, as I know you are. The attacks and even smears will increase as we do better. But they will not defeat our ideas. They cannot defeat out ideas. At this moment of urgency for America, with spending, taxes, spying, inflation, and wars out of control and threatening all we love, let us rededicate ourselves to freedom,
prosperity, and peace. Already, I owe you all my thanks. Join me in this great endeavor in New Hampshire and beyond. Please make your most generous donation now: https://www.ronpaul2008.com/donate

Sincerely,
Ron

Chelsea

Much has been made of the recent success of the Ron Paul campaign for President, and by now, it is well known that this isn’t the first time Ron Paul has ran for President either. For those who don’t know, back in 1988, Paul ran the Oval Office, only this time it was with the Libertarian Party. Of course, Paul’s recent presidential campaign has placed the Libertarian Party in an awkward position, and until now, Paul’s name was only mentioned behind closed doors within the party. But no longer…

From the Libertarian Party:

Throughout the year, as you could imagine, questions about Ron Paul have been non-stop.  Both our members and the media swamp every line of communication available.
 
While reporters generally dance around the issues, looking for a salacious story about Congressman Paul, our members get right to the point:    “What are you doing to support Ron Paul?”
    “Why haven’t you endorsed Ron Paul?”
    “Why are you avoiding Ron Paul?”
    “Why isn’t…?
    “Why is…?
    “Why don’t…?”
    “Why won’t…?”
    “…Support Ron Paul!“Trust me, in our small Watergate office, the words “Ron Paul” echo throughout the hallways all day, every day, as we respond to the many questions posed by passionate Libertarians who call, e-mail, mail and visit our office.

WHEREAS, the Libertarian National Committee encourages competition in the race for the Libertarian Party’s presidential nomination and is appreciative of all candidates who make the commitment to run;

NOW THEREFORE, in the event that Republican primary voters select a candidate other than Congressman Paul in February of 2008, the Libertarian National Committee urges Congressman Ron Paul to seek the presidential nomination of the Libertarian Party to be decided in Denver, Colorado during Memorial Day weekend of 2008.

I encourage you to read the full resolution by clicking here.The LNC has made a respectful gesture and it’s up to the good Congressman to accept or decline when he chooses to do so.  And just so you know, so far, the response from Dr. Paul’s campaign has been the standard: “We have no intention to seek the nomination of a third party.”Additionally, the LNC voted to allow me to pursue an effort that will allow Ron Paul supporters to contact voters in the upcoming New Hampshire Republican primary to tell them about Dr. Paul.

• The use of a server that is not even moderately used during the political off-season.
• An independent expenditure of $2,120 to purchase the New Hampshire voter files of registered Republicans.
• Moderate use of staff time.

Now, here’s what we possibly have to gain:

• We make it possible to influence a Republican primary race in the favor of liberty…just as we have done in the past with other primary races.
• We gain the ability to build a lasting relationship with a large group of pro-liberty activists.
• Most importantly, through the Ballot Base registration process, we are able to reach out to many thousands of people who share many common values with the LP. Hopefully, one day down the road, as we continue to build our relationship, they will take the bold step of joining the Libertarian Party or supporting our efforts. 

So, for a few thousand dollars, use of a server and some of our time, we are able to create a network of communication with what I hope will be thousands of hard-working and passionate lovers of liberty.In the meantime, a soft-spoken Republican congressman named Ron Paul gets a leg up over the likes of Rudy Giuliani and Mitt Romney.Sound good to you?